Km: A Medical Review ("An Idea Whose Time Has Come" [1990])

Here is the full review on Km, the miracle product from "An Idea Whose Time Has Come" as penned by Sarah, our physician on staff.

Adam found this lovely elixir on Amazon and ordered it for us to try on Bad Movie Night after watching the delightful video of exposition describing all of its wonderful properties while never telling you what the “product” is.  When we received the bottle we found P65 Warnings for CA stating this product could cause cancer and reproductive harm.  Being the nerdy Nurse Practitioner that I am, I opened up my handy dandy drug book guide for natural products: The Review of Natural Products: The Most Complete Source of Natural Product Information (2014). This book reads like any pharmaceutical reference book might, with indications, side effects, dosing, counter indications, as well as listing any scientific research done and the quality of that research. So, with that in mind I have listed below the ingredients of this magic Elixir and their reported uses (doesn’t mean it does what it is used for) and common side effects. I hope you enjoy as much as we did.

In order listed on the bottle:

TLDR: Many ingredients supposedly help you pee more, decrease inflammation, lowers blood pressure and blood sugar. A few can give you a heart attack, several can cause abortion or are just listed as “dangerous during pregnancy”. 1 can cause cancer. And lets not forget that several cause nausea and vomiting, the most common side effect of anything ever.

·       Chamomile:

              Uses: used topically and in mucous membranes for inflammation, can be used in irrigated for anogenital inflammation, used internally for intestinal spasms and inflammation

              Side Effects: Can cause severe allergic reaction and mild skin allergic reaction.

              Safety in Pregnancy: Unreferenced adverse reactions have been reported                            

·       Sarsaparilla:

       Uses: has been used to treat syphilis, leprosy, psoriasis and other ailments

       Side Effects: No major side effects have been reported but unusually high dose could possibly be harmful.

       Safety in Pregnancy: Information regarding safety in pregnancy is lacking

·       Dandelion:

       Uses: has been used for its nutritional value as well increase urniation, regulation of blood sugar, liver and gall bladder disorders, appetite stimulation, abdominal complaints.

       Side Effects: Mild allergic skin rash, stomach discomfort.

       Safety in Pregnancy: Generally recognized as safe or used as food.

·       Horehound:

       Uses:used as flavoring, expectorant (loosens mucus), vasodilator (lowers blood pressure), sweating, increased urination and treatment for intestinal parasites, lowers blood sugar.         

       Side Effects: Large doses may cause cardiac irregularities (this is bad)

       Safety in Pregnancy: information is lacking, but should avoid use but is known to cause increased menstrual bleeding and abortion

·       Licorice:

       Uses: used historically for stomach issues, primarily used as a flavoring. It has been investigated in use as a cancer treatment and antiviral drug.

       Side Effects: At low doses or normal consumption few side effects have been reported. Excessive doses can cause high blood pressure and low potassium.

       Safety in Pregnancy: Should be avoid. Increases estrogen activity and can cause abortion

·       Seneca snake root:

       Uses: stimulates stomach secretions and smooth muscle contractions, can promote appetite and tone digestive organs. In large dose can increase blood flow, sweating, and increased urination

       Side Effects: can affect the kidneys and irritate the intestines

       Safety in Pregnancy: particularly dangerous to women who are pregnant (no specifics listed)

·       Passion Flower:

       Uses:multiple traditional uses such as anxiety, dietary fiber, lowering blood sugar, decreasing blood pressure.

       Side Effects: Nausea, vomiting, drowsiness, prolongation of the QT interval (can result in heart attack), Ventricular tachycardia ( second to last step before your hear stops) occupational asthma

       Safety in Pregnancy: causes stimulation of the uterus

·       Thyme:

       Uses: primarily culinary uses, has been used in cough mixtures and mouthwashes and treating fungal skin infections

       Side Effects: mild to severe allergic reactions

       Safety in Pregnancy: information is lacking

·       Genetian:

       Uses: to stimulate appetite, improve digestion, treat stomach complaints, stimulates increase menstrual flow, treat wounds, sore throat, arthritis and jaundice (caused by liver failure)

       Side Effects: Can cause Cancer, headaches, nausea and vomiting

       Safety in Pregnancy: documented adverse effects, avoid use (exact effects not listed)

·       Saw Palmetto:

       Uses: has been used to treat enlarged prostrate, erectile dysfunction, treat prostrate cancer

       Side Effects:generally well tolerated with occasional reports of stomach upset and headache

       Safety in Pregnancy: should be avoided as it affects androgen and estrogen metabolism

·       Alfalfa:

       Uses: to lower cholesterol, treating menopausal symptoms, lowering blood sugar, decrease inflammation.

       Side Effects: can be contaminated with salmonella and E.coli and cause high potassium

       Safety in Pregnancy: documented adverse effects such as stimulation of the uterus.

·       Dong Quai:

       Uses: pain control for arthritis, allergy suppressant,, treatment of menstrual disorders, treat asthma, blood thinner.

       Side Effects: fever, growth of breast tissue in men, increased bleeding when used with pharmaceutical blood thinners, increase risk of sunburn

       Safety in Pregnancy: stimulates the uterus, cause abortion, affects the menstrual cycle

·       Celery:

       Uses: increase urination, treat arthritis, sedating, nervousness, hysteria, lowers blood pressure.

       Side Effects: skin rash if cultivating or processing the plant. Certain compounds in diseased or damaged plants can be cancerous, large dose cause depression of the central nervous system

       Safety in Pregnancy: generally recognized as safe

Reference:

Beutler, J. A. (2014). The Review of Natural Products: The Most Complete Source of Natural Product Information (A. DerMarderosian, Ed.; 8th Edition). Clinical Drug Information, LLC.

Terror In Beverly Hills [1989]

After a few weeks of soft balls, we decided that it was time to take off the training wheels for Tom, our newest bad movie watcher, and branch out to something none of us has seen. Although it has steered us very wrong in the past ("Black Devil Doll From Hell"), Adam went back to The Bad Movie Bible to find "Terror in Beverly Hills," a Frank Stallone movie that he's only in for maybe twenty minutes and also starring Cameron Mitchell, who has been a joy in other films we've seen. 

The film starts with an incredibly long introduction taking place in Palestine. We are introduced to our antagonists, two men with a bone to pick about poor treatment they've received for being Muslim and Arabic. One of them is a former friend of Frank Stallone, our main character(?) and named Hack Stone, a guy who used to do secret missions in the Middle East. The former friend's wife and son were killed, and he decides to go to LA to kidnap the president's daughter with his terrorist friends in order to get some POWs released. The actual kidnapping occurs in a shop on Rodeo Drive that results in many amusing causalities and the police chopper that was tracking them loses sight of them because they got distracted by some topless girls on the flatbed of a truck. Back at the police station we get to see Cameron Mitchell yelling a bunch and a secretary who massages her keyboard keys rather than types with them. The president, who has redecorated the Oval Office to look like a 70s rec room and replaced eagle imagery with seagulls, calls up a general driving around a country club to active Hack Stone. Thankfully Hack Stone's cop friend had been tracking the terrorists to an old bean factory and spent a lot of time talking to Cameron Mitchell and the news crew who arrives. The cop pretends to be a medic and gets captured. Hack Stone eventually arrives at the factory, while terrorists kidnap his family on the side. Some cops go save the family in a scene with muffled sound for some reason, and Hack Stone saves the day because the lead terrorist commits suicide. 

This movie has some quality moments, many from Cameron Mitchell yelling at people. The technical aspects are often shoddy, Pepsi product placement is abundant, and there's a lot of silly violence. From a plot perspective, it seems like there isn't a single protagonist because the film was set up to be for Frank Stallone but his cop friend fills in the blanks. This film is definitely worth a watch.

Spoon Rating: 6

On a somewhat related note, Adam received his bottle of KM, the miracle product from "An Idea Whose Time Has Come". Sarah got out her natural ingredient guide and inspected everything in it. Many of the ingredients seemed to have abortive properties and one of the ingredients is on the p65 cancer warning list, which aligned with the "cancer and reproductive health" warning label on the bottle. Ultimately, Adam and Erik drank the recommended tablespoon and Kay drank it and spat it out. It tastes like mouthwash mixed with flowers but a little more viscous. It's not the worst thing ever from a flavor perspective but you probably shouldn't drink it anyway. We're still waiting on a surgery date for the removal of Adam's third arm.

REWATCH: "An Idea Whose Time Has Come" [1990], "The Rainbow Sponge", "Creating Rem Lezar" [1988]

Last Monday we had a triple feature of some of the best shorts we've seen. We started with "An Idea Whose Time Has Come," the most vague infomercial ever for some sort of mineral supplement called KM. It was no more clear this time around but we did manage to find the product on Amazon and Adam made the dubious decision to buy a bottle. Stayed tuned, I guess, for a review of it. After that we enjoyed the full version of "The Rainbow Sponge" where a women named Dee gets nearly orgasmic over a dense sponge that you can decorate with, and then we enjoyed the glorious musical masterpiece "Creating Rem Lezar". We're still pretty sure it's some sort of creepy religious thing, but as long as the kids are happy. Enjoy this subtle juxtaposition again:

All three of these are worth your time and might be best watched in the order we did so you can slowly descend into madness. 

REWATCH: Twisted Pair [2018]

Last Monday, we decided we needed to indoctrinate Tom into the Church of Breesus. While Fateful Findings is probably his best work, it had been a while since we saw Twisted Pair, so we decided to give the CGI masterpiece another watch. Considering this was only the second time we've watched it, we were a little disappointed to see that the disk is already not playing towards the end of the film. And a reminder: the disk was clearly put together in Breen's house. So basically, Neil Breen owes Adam $35. We also got nearly every square on Neil Breen Bingo. 

Bingo and my original review can be found here.

Spoon Rating: 9

Basket Case [1982]

This one came as a recommendation from Tom, Kay's friend and coworker (and possible new member if he decides to keep returning). "Basket Case" is an unparalleled work of art, and I do not say that lightly. The film was preserved by the Museum of Modern Art. Supposedly that was because of its depiction of New York during the sleazy Times Square times and the fact that it was uniquely made in a hotel using a bunch of the residents as actors, but that explanation merely conceals the true artistry of this film.

Our protagonist is a largely mulleted young man with a locked picnic basket. Despite prompting from a slew of colorful characters about what's in the basket and his innocuous answers, the basket feeds like Death Bed and appears to communicate with him telepathically. Mullet, more commonly known as Duane, has a particular fixation on tracking down doctors, which leads him to a date with a receptionist who is wildly offended by his lack of sight seeing. It is then that we are gifted with a look inside the basket at the deformed, screaming goblin-mass that resides within and wishes to kill. You should really just watch this film to see the man itself, but when I tell you it never stopped being hilarious, I am not exaggerating. During a drunken hangout with one of the women in the hotel, Duane spills his backstory about how the fanged-tumor is his brother who he was forcibly separated from, spawning their crusade to get revenge on the doctors who did this. Unfortunately, brother-lump has reached sexual maturity and preys first on Duane's hotel friend (whose room is entirely decorated with smiley faces for some reason) and then on Duane's receptionist love interest in a scene that is not quite as bad as "Black Devil Doll From Hell" but still taints an otherwise perfect bad movie. Be warned. Duane is rightfully horrified and both brothers are united in death after a brawl sends them falling out an open window, leaving unanswered the question of which one is the real basket case.

This one was an instant classic the second we laid eyes on the sentient pound of flesh within. Aside from the ridiculous design and execution of its movements, the film also benefits from strange acting by basically everyone, whiplash tone shifts, and a lot of little oddities that might lose their magic by trying to put them into words. The only thing holding this movie back is the disturbing scene I mentioned, but I would advise you to not let that hold you back. Skip the scene, but make sure you add this one to your list.

Spoon Rating: 9

REWATCH: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation [1997]

 It's been about three and a half years since we last watched "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" and we let Erik pick the rewatch. If you want to read my old review, you can click here.

Spoon Rating: 8

Kraken: Tentacles Of The Deep [2006]

I'm just going to spoil this whole thing right now: don't watch this. It's really unexciting, the acting is bland instead of funny, and the CGI is not quite bad enough to be enjoyable. The plot is about as simple as you can get too. A perpetually bikini-clad marine archeologist is looking for an opal that has something to do with the Greek myth of Scylla but Kay, resident Greek myth expert, had never even heard of this variant. The archeologist is on a boat with a guy who's hunting the giant beast who killed his parents, an intern, and a traitor who sells them out to some treasure hunters. Intern and traitor die. Archeologist and revenge seeker survive and kill the beast. They don't get the opal, but they get an artifact anyway and make out.

Our lack of joy at this movie can only slightly be attributed to Erik proposing the idea that the treasure hunters are actually a kraken cult, only for us all to not have our dream fulfilled.

Spoon Rating: 1.5