Titanic: The Legend Goes On [2000] & Creating Rem Lezar [1988]

For years we were apparently under the incorrect assumption that we had seen both of the animated Titanic movies, but last week we discovered that we were wrong (and this probably wasn't the first time we noticed this error). So we decided to remedy this by finally watching Titanic: The Legend Goes On. While the ending certainly isn't as wild as the ending to The Legend of the Titanic (why all these claims that it's a legend when it's a verifiable historical event), this movie had plenty of weirdness in the fact that it had no real plot and instead sustains its barely hour long run time with a ton of subplots, many that feature talking animals. A list of those plots includes:
1. An orphan girl named Angelica has an evil foster mother and two evil stepsisters (don't question it) and she's looking for her mother who gave her a locket when she was little. No idea why she's totally gonna be on this ship but oh well.
2. The mice who Angelica was nice to are trying to get her locket back.
3. Angelica, a poor, falls in love with William, a rich.
4. Some racially insensitive Mexican mice are trying to get home after a tour.

5. The other animals are doing stuff too that most involves partying and punishing the evil cat.

6. There's a butler and singer subplot with the singer's slightly too human-seeming Dalmatians.

7. A detective in disguise is trying to find some jewel thieves who are kind of the villains in 101 Dalmatians and are also incompetent.

8. A lady has fake jewelry and tries to marry an old guy for his money but he's actually in debt and was trying to get her money.

Every character with a plot survives except the singer who choses to go down singing. The mice even give us an epilogue about what happened to all of them.

In addition to the lack of plot, the film has three songs: a party time song sung by a rapping dog, a racially insensitive song by the Mexican mice, and the main theme, which is not horribly offensive but plays over and over until you've lost your mind. The animation is also mostly ugly, weirdly slow, and designwise seems cribbed from various Disney movies (including but not limited to Cinderella, 101 Dalmatians, An American Tail, and Lady And The Tramp).

It was pretty fun.

Spoon Rating: 6

Unfortunately, Titanic: The Legend Goes On was fiercely overshadowed by our second short feature, Creating Rem Lezar, an absolutely bizarre musical film that seems to have been made for children but only under the influence of a copious amount of drugs.

The film starts with a little boy getting yelled at by his teacher for talking about his imaginary friend Rem Lezar so on his walk to the principal's office he sings about dreaming dreams. Rem shows up to sing a bit with him and talks about how much the boy has touched him. A little girl, who is also yelled at by her mother for her imagination and is being punished by having to sleep in the dark, does a duet with Rem that is also at least somewhat dream related. At school, the kids both realize that they have the same god and decide to go into a shed and build him in effigy so they can worship him better. As they sleep (presumably) Rem Lezar takes them on an advantage to defeat a low pixel face in the sky by getting as high as possible. This requires them to go to New York City, a place where there are a lot of high things, and they come across a wild doowop group, a rapper with only a few bars, and a hype violinist because Central Park is just that kind of place. They end up at the Twin Towers and learn that there's nothing higher than love or something and manage to find Rem Lezar's Quixotic Medallion, a gaudy piece of bling with an infinity symbol on it. The kids wake up when a cop finds their Rem Lezar church and they both end up with their own Medallions as a devotional relic so they can continue to worship The Most Holy Rem Lezar.

This was an amazing piece of cinema and I can't recommend it enough.

Spoon Rating: 9