Terror In Beverly Hills [1989]

After a few weeks of soft balls, we decided that it was time to take off the training wheels for Tom, our newest bad movie watcher, and branch out to something none of us has seen. Although it has steered us very wrong in the past ("Black Devil Doll From Hell"), Adam went back to The Bad Movie Bible to find "Terror in Beverly Hills," a Frank Stallone movie that he's only in for maybe twenty minutes and also starring Cameron Mitchell, who has been a joy in other films we've seen. 

The film starts with an incredibly long introduction taking place in Palestine. We are introduced to our antagonists, two men with a bone to pick about poor treatment they've received for being Muslim and Arabic. One of them is a former friend of Frank Stallone, our main character(?) and named Hack Stone, a guy who used to do secret missions in the Middle East. The former friend's wife and son were killed, and he decides to go to LA to kidnap the president's daughter with his terrorist friends in order to get some POWs released. The actual kidnapping occurs in a shop on Rodeo Drive that results in many amusing causalities and the police chopper that was tracking them loses sight of them because they got distracted by some topless girls on the flatbed of a truck. Back at the police station we get to see Cameron Mitchell yelling a bunch and a secretary who massages her keyboard keys rather than types with them. The president, who has redecorated the Oval Office to look like a 70s rec room and replaced eagle imagery with seagulls, calls up a general driving around a country club to active Hack Stone. Thankfully Hack Stone's cop friend had been tracking the terrorists to an old bean factory and spent a lot of time talking to Cameron Mitchell and the news crew who arrives. The cop pretends to be a medic and gets captured. Hack Stone eventually arrives at the factory, while terrorists kidnap his family on the side. Some cops go save the family in a scene with muffled sound for some reason, and Hack Stone saves the day because the lead terrorist commits suicide. 

This movie has some quality moments, many from Cameron Mitchell yelling at people. The technical aspects are often shoddy, Pepsi product placement is abundant, and there's a lot of silly violence. From a plot perspective, it seems like there isn't a single protagonist because the film was set up to be for Frank Stallone but his cop friend fills in the blanks. This film is definitely worth a watch.

Spoon Rating: 6

On a somewhat related note, Adam received his bottle of KM, the miracle product from "An Idea Whose Time Has Come". Sarah got out her natural ingredient guide and inspected everything in it. Many of the ingredients seemed to have abortive properties and one of the ingredients is on the p65 cancer warning list, which aligned with the "cancer and reproductive health" warning label on the bottle. Ultimately, Adam and Erik drank the recommended tablespoon and Kay drank it and spat it out. It tastes like mouthwash mixed with flowers but a little more viscous. It's not the worst thing ever from a flavor perspective but you probably shouldn't drink it anyway. We're still waiting on a surgery date for the removal of Adam's third arm.