SPECIAL: 420 Awards [2019]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

So last Monday the Bad Movie Night crew rewatched "A Talking Cat!?!" since Kay was on vacation, but on Friday night Adam and Kay ended up watching something that was such prime bad movie content that it is going to end up a future rewatch on an actual Monday: "The 420 Awards." How did we find something like this? It was created by Derek Savage, occasionally more well known as Daddy Derek, the guy behind the Cool Cat. We were browsing his IMDb page, as you do on a Friday night, and discovered this weird little thing, which happens to be on YouTube in its entirety. 

So there isn't a plot obviously; it's an awards show, an awards show with tens of people in the audience. It is the worst awards show we've ever seen. The award categories were for "favorite kiss-ass movie," "stoner movie," "hottest actor," "hottest actress," "male singer," "female singer," "stoner song," "stoner music video," "indie movie," "movie," and "all-time favorite movie." The selections were mostly pulled directly from Derek Savage's behind with the exaction of "indie movie" where four movies that were definitely not independent were nominated against, you guessed it, "Cool Cat Kids Superhero." At this point the entire purpose of the awards show is clear: Derek invented an awards show to give himself an award. The awards are all accepted by random people although Derek, who also hosts, really tried to get people to show up and mentions calling agents. In between the awards we have three comedians who are all terrible, a harpist who sings a pot-themed version of "Danny Boy," two magicians who are both bad, a ventriloquist who's just hiding his mouth behind his hand, and a singer who sings karaoke jams. Also remember that this is all done with Derek Savage's trademark horrible editing. He also got copyright strikes for playing songs and trailers of the things he nominated so he replaced the music with "Cool Cat" songs.

We laughed from beginning to end.

Spoon Rating: 9

Deadly Scavengers [2001]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

It's been a while since we've seen a movie worthy of a rewatch. We've seen a fair amount of decent films lately, ones that should definitely get on your list, but nothing that we felt so passionate about that we will be watching it again in the future. Enter "Deadly Scavengers." This movie has everything: "Birdemic" level graphics, bad acting, a plot with elements that are ripped off from better movies and dialogue that explains rather than flows like natural conversation, and some of the worst sound design we've encountered (not as bad as "Still Flowin'" or "Guru The Mad Monk" but definitely as bad as "Black Ninja"; so it's intelligable).

As far as we could gleam, the plot is about a giant cockroach that's going around killing people. Note: there may be more than one, but it seems to be just the one. It kills someone in the beginning who doesn't matter and then attacks some scientists who may be responsible for its existence. Then we are treated to totally different characters for a solid 45 minutes with no attacks. A squad of "cleaners" are called in to cover up these attacks and they include a guy and girl with a past involving a lot of belligerent sexual tension, a man with the worst fake Irish accent ever, a woman who abhors all things girly (late 90s feminism everyone), and a former Marine who's sensititve. They find the daughter of a murdered scientist in a tree, and she turns out to be the former Marine's ex and a former, at this point, bug scientist. There's a lot of awkward sex scenes in tents. In a parallel story, there are two government agents who don't get along who are also investigating the bug attacks: a guy who accidently killed someone at the agency and can't forgive himself, and a women ironically named Lovejoy who also won't forgive him. They fight a lot until seconds before the man is killed by a bug. Most of the cleaners die in stupid ways that I'd rather no spoil and the former Marine double crosses bug girl and we are ultimately left with just Lovejoy and bug girl, who decide to be friends? Or girlfriends because they both need love? It's unclear, and we couldn't hear the dialogue.

So this film is choice. We laughed a lot consistently throughout the film, and there was rarely a dull moment. Enjoy!

Spoon Rating: 7.5

Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf [1985]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

"Howling II? Do we need to see Howling I?"

"I think it's like Troll II."

"But this one is specifically good?"

"This one is infamous apparently."

Werewolf movies are rarer than vampire movies but this movie did manage to get their hands on a vampire in the form of Christopher Lee. He's an occult specialist who attends the funeral for some guy's sister and very cryptically tells him that his sister is a werewolf and gives him his card. The brother and a coworker of the dead girl go to his creepy house where he explains the plot: there's a werewolf girl who is going to visit a werewolf queen and we have to kill them all. They go to "Transylvania" where the werewolf queen, Stirba, is having black masses and orgies. Lee assembles his red shirt army, the brother and the coworker start boning, and there's a delightful festival in the small town of "full of wolves." Ultimately evil is defeated and Lee and Stirba burn together because apparently they're siblings. The title really doesn't lie. TWO sisters were werewolves.

What makes this movie a worthy watch is hard to capture in a plot summary. There are a lot of lines and acting moments that imply that second takes weren't really an element of this film. The special effects are horrifying to look at, but this is at least partially the result of the movie being made in the 80s. Still, the choice to put the actors in suits that just look like regular human hair grown out as opposed to fur suits gives the werewolf sex an especially unnerving quality. There's unnecessary nudity, plot points that are explained after the fact, and the same rock song played on at least seven occasions including at the very end while edited with scenes from the film (and specifically a shot of Stirba ripping off her clothes at least 18 times). The fact that all of this is juxtaposed with Christopher Lee's gravitas and actual acting ability, makes it even better.

Spoon Rating: 5.5