Girls Just Wanna Have Fun [1985]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

It's the 80s! The Cold War is still going on, cocaine is all the rage, and the conservatives are running the most powerful countries in the world. Also, dancing movies are a big deal.

In this teen flick, Sarah Jessica Parker moves to Chicago which is actually awesome because she can try out to be on Dance TV! Along with her friend Helen Hunt, and Helen Hunt's eccentric cranium accessories that often consist of animals, they sneak off to open auditions against the will of SJP's strict military father. There Helen Hunt gets kicked out but SJP is moved forward and paired up with our hero who was introduced without a shirt. Too bad the stereotypical rich bitch antagonist wants him and the spot on Dance TV and will do anything to get it including having her daddy blackmail the hero by threatening his father's job. Also, rich bitch is pissed off that SJP, Helen Hunt, and the hero's sister, Shannen Doherty, found an invitiation to her coming out party, made a bunch of copies, and then gave them to a bunch of alternative types with no table manners who smashed everything. SJP and the hero hook up and beat rich bitch in the dancing competition with their excessive use of gymnastics and suddenly all the parents have forgiven and forgotten. It's the typical 80s teen movie formula with all its terrible fashions, predictable endings, and no budget to pay for the originals of any songs so you get some generic "Dancing In The Street" and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" to accompany a score that's heavily synth. Relish in the glory of these dated quotes:

Quotes:
"Velcro: next to the Walkman and Tab, it's the world's greatest invention."

"Let's hear it for steroids!"

"You're such a little punk!"
"You think I'm punk?! That's not as cool as new wave but it's better than preteen!"

"You're taking a fashion risk. I like that."

[on a motorcycle] "It's the safest thing you'll ever have between your legs."

Adam's Grandma's Review: "It was good. I like dancing."

REWATCH: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun [1985]

We have a bad movie first here people: an accidental rewatch.

We rolled a d10 and got this one from our Book Barn stack not realizing that we actually watched it back in 2014. I only just now realized it because when I entered the title into the tag section, I realized we already have a tag for the movie. 

Were the signs there? Only sort of. Sarah realized very quickly that she had seen it before but being that we were all born in the 80s, we assumed it was some kind of childhood memory thing like Kay's love of Teen Witch and Adam's affinity for Mother Goose's Rock n Rhyme. Later on when Shannon Doherty's character said the line, ""You think I'm punk?! That's not as cool as new wave but it's better than preteen!" I felt extremely strong deja vu. I basically wrote it off as having seen a clip of it somewhere.

So, oops? I'll just link to my original review because frankly I'm hilarious and don't want to try to write a new one.  

Have a bunch of pictures of Helen's Hunt cranium accessories. 

Spoon Rating: 2*
*It's a low spoon rating because we honestly laughed at a lot of the actual jokes. It wasn't a bad film. Maybe like 2.5/5 stars but obviously pretty forgettable.

Bad Movie Night List

This is a picture from the composition notebook where we record all the movies we watch. These are all the movies we watched before starting the Facebook group and the little reviews. It spans roughly September 2012 - March 2013.

And here's the full list of everything we've watched listed in the order we watched them and not including rewatches or non-BMN specials. Last updated 10/22/18

Bad Movie Night

Motel Hell

The Room

Tank Girl

Fido

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Dungeons And Dragons

Titanic II

Wing Commander

Karate Warriors

Birdemic

Samurai Cop

Gymkata

Star Wars Holiday Special

Best Of The Best

Showgirls

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Mega Piranha

The Amazing Bulk

Hard To Kill

Troll 2

The Russian Ninja (Russian Terminator)

Zaat

Black Ninja

Lost In Space

Zardoz

Malibu Express

Space Truckers

Plan 9 From Outer Space

Wild, Wild West

The Marine

Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Manos: The Hands Of Fate

R.O.T.O.R.

Boa Vs. Python

The Destroyer

Alone In The Dark

Earth Girls Are Easy

Shocker

Bad Ronald

Rocket Attack USA

Inhuman Resources

Sharknado

Guru, The Mad Monk

Don’t Torture A Duckling

Prototype X29a

Attack Of The Giant Leeches

Kill Me Again

Bloodspot

To Catch A Yeti

Battlefield Earth

Deadly Prey

The House That Drips Blood On Alex

Street Fighter

The Gorilla

Grease 2

Prisoners Of The Lost Universe

Galaxy Invader

Hercules Against The Moon Men

Deep Blue Sea

Eddie

No Retreat, No Surrender

The Exterminator

The Sound Of Music Live!

The Island Of Dr. Moreau

Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure

The Avengers

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Aliens Vs. Avatars

Glen Or Glenda

I, Frankenstein

Abduction

Disc Godfather

Kickboxer

Jingle Cats

Crazy Fat Ethel 2

Santa Claus Conquers The Martians

Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star

Batman & Robin

Bio-Dome

Cool As Ice

Foodfight!

Charlie’s Angels

Miami Connection

Ace Ventura Jr.: Pet Detective

Vampire Dog

The Baby-Sitters Club

Raging Sharks

Johnny Mnemonic

Vertical Limit

Leprechaun 4: In Space

The Wicker Man

Virus

Undercover Blues

Half Past Dead

Gigli

Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes

Return Of The Killer Tomatoes

The Legend Of The Titanic

The Langoliers

Gerry

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

I Know Who Killed Me

Con Air

The Beast Of Yucca Flats

Bats: Human Harvest

WolfCop

Tammy And The T-Rex

Monster In The Closet

Highlander 2: The Quickening

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Mutant Chronicles

Catwoman

Ed

Tammy

The Happening

Hobgoblins

From Justin To Kelly

The Last Airbender

Trapped In The Closet

Runaway

After Earth

The Head

Cool Cat Saves The Kids

The Neighbors

The Room: Rifftrax

Maniac Cop

Howard The Duck

Replicant

Holy Terror

Dr.  Giggles

The Devil’s Advocate

Double Impact

Dracula 3000

Bloodrayne

Shark Night

Killer Buzz

Cremains

The Black Gestapo

The Phantom

The Covenent

Cliffhanger

The Roller Blade Seven

Ishtar

The Adventures Of Shark Boy And Lava Girl In 3D

Exterminator 2

Matthew Blackheart: Monster Smasher

Robot Monster

The Giant Claw

The Seven Magnificant Gladiators

Hercules In New York

Road House

Eye Of The Tiger

Undefeatable

Thankskilling

The Giant Spider Invasion

Santa With Muscles

Santa's Slay

Saving Christmas

Jupiter Ascending

Simon Sez

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

Samurai Chicks

Megaforce

Mac And Me

Fire Maidens From Outer Space

Gayniggers From Outer Space

Italian Spiderman

The Humanoid

A Talking Cat!?

Ben And Arthur

Raw Justice

Masters Of The Universe

Escape From Hell

Bride Of The Monster

Monster A Go-Go!

Star War The Third Gathers: Backstroke Of The West

Fateful Findings

Double Down

I Am Here . . . Now

Gorgo

Ilsa, She Wolf Of The SS

Things

Every Young Man's Battle

Theodore Rex

China O'Brien

The Conquerer

The Skateboard Kid

High School Musical

High School Musical 2

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Repo Jake

Abunai Sisters

Attack Of The Crab Monsters

Pumpkinhead

Chopping Mall

Beowulf

The Masked Saint

1990: Bronx Warriors

Single Room Furnished

The Unexpected Bar Mitzvah

Pass Thru

Singham

The Incredible Melting Man

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

Blood Freak

Frozen

Future Woman

Dark Angel

TC 2000

Wrestling Women Vs. The Aztec Mummy

The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy

Rapsittie Kids Believe In Santa

Singham Returns

Future Cops

The Deadliest Prey

International Guerillas

Repligator

Killing American Style

Hollywood Cop

Welcome

Descendants

The Last Vampire On Earth

Leo The Lion

Descendants 2

Still Flowin': The Movie

The Gingerdead Man

Lady Bloodfight

The Controller

Blackenstein

Halloweentown

What is Real?

Y2K Family Survival Guide

Satanic Cults And Ritual Crime

Christian Mingle

The Lock-In

Suburban Sasquatch

The Disaster Artist

Black Christmas

Wish Upon

Surviving Edged Weapons

Every Young Woman's Battle

After Last Season

Without Reservation

The Party

Turf War

Checkmate

Outcast

Partners

Future Tense

Alibaba

Last Ounce Of Courage

Hard Target

God's Not Dead

God's Not Dead 2

Rollergator

Mankillers

The Prophet Of Oz

Showgirls 2: Penny's From Heaven

The Pit

Love Never Dies

The Hero Of Color City

Starstruck

Cool Cat Kids Superhero

Redeemer

Road To Revenge (GetEven)

Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Urban Cowboy

Elves

Die Hard Dracula

Black Devil Doll From Hell

Science Crazed

Black Roses

Teen Witch

Love At The Thanksgiving Day Parade

Face/Off

Cyberbully

Stalker's Prey

Quigley

God's Not Dead: A Light In Darkness

Roar

Nude For Satan

Mother Goose Rock 'N' Rhyme

Baby's Day Out

The Gay Deceivers

Spice World

Do Or Die

Fist Of The Vampire

Beastly

Beethoven's 5th

Twisted Pair

Return Of The Roller Blade Seven

Atom Age Vampire

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Step Up: All In

Reefer Madness

A Witch's Spiritual Hoedown

The Karate Dog

The Adventures Of Chris Fable

The Crow: Wicked Prayer

Howling II: Your Sister Is A Werewolf

Deadly Scavengers

420 Awards

Descendants 3

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Breakthrough

Hercules (2014)

Gun Self-Defense For Ladies

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (Golden Films)

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame II

Bring It On: Worldwide #Cheersmack

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (2002)

The Guy From Harlem

Petey Wheatstraw: The Devil's Son-In-Law

Foodfight! [2012]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Sometimes an animated movie doesn't need to be a Pixar rip-off or full of aggressively topical pop culture jokes that are over kid's heads to be utterly unwatchable. Enter "Foodfight!", a kid's movie about a bunch of brand mascots in a supermarket trying to fight against a new brand taking over and forcing them out. This film somehow took ten years to make and still has graphics from an era many years before "Toy Story" came and changed everything. Even the voice actors feel like they are from a previous era including the likes of Charlie Sheen, Wayne Brady. Hilary Duff, and Eva Longoria. But don't think it's just the terrifying dead eyes of the characters and their grotesque faces that make it an eye-averting experience. There's plenty of racial stereotypes and fart jokes to go around. Not to mention every other line of the movie is a pun and I think that's a modest estimate. Oh, and there's repeated references to "Casablanca" (for the parents?). And Christopher Lloyd playing the bad guy who has crazy eyes and is clearly the Minister of Silly Walks.

Sometimes the line between children's movie and fetish film can be rather thin. There's leather and fishnet clad Nazi-esque characters, some rather compromising positions and don't forget the questionable jokes. Here are just some of the sexual jokes made by the characters:

• "Nice packaging"
• "All the girls want my chocolate frosting."
• "You love my raisins."
• "Wanna lick?"
• "It isn't my fault that you have inferior packaging."
• "You've been through the wash plenty."
• "I could kill you. That would be fun . . . more fun than a spanking!"
• "How about joining me in a warm rinse?" "I'm not that dirty."
• "I wanna scrub your bubbles."
• "I never got a chance to play lick the icing with Sweetcakes."
• "Soon I'll have you begging for mercy."
• "Gum up her works!"
• "We'll see who rolls over, baby."
• "I'm gonna pop your corn, lady."
• "On your knees, dog."
• "Size only counts for men."
• "Are those melons real?"

Best Line: "But enough about me, let's kill you."

Adam's Grandma's Review: "Different."