REWATCH: Dungeons And Dragons [2000]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Here's a real blast from the past: "Dungeons and Dragons." We watched this movie on the sixth week of Bad Movie Night back in 2012, and it has kind of been kicking around in our heads ever since. Unfortunately, the only thing we really remembered about the movie was that Jeremy Irons overacts and Thora Birch underacts. The actual plot was a mystery. Even after a rewatch, it still is, but we also now know that the overacting/underacting dichotomy is literally enough of a reason to watch this film. It is magnificent.

The plot centers around a land where magic users (mages) are the higher class and non-magic users (commoners) are the low class. Queen Thora Birch wants to create equality and mage (senator?) Jeremy Irons doesn't. This is technically the secondary plot because the main plot follows two commoner thieves who team up with a mage girl to do . . . something. They also team up with a dwarf and a lady elf who wears body armor with boob cups and a molded belly button. It's very much a ripoff of all the "Indiana Jones" trilogy and "The Goonies" in terms of action-adventure scenes. The annoying thief played by a Waynes brother dies, and we were all pleased we wouldn't have to hear his jokes anymore. Then Jeremy Irons releases the dragons and there's a big finale with lots of cheap CGI. Thora Birch tries really hard to be distressed while not moving a single facial muscle.

Honestly? Watch this movie. Even if you only look up every time Jeremy Irons is on screen, it will make your night.

Spoon Rating: 8