We were going to watch "God's Not Dead" tonight but it's currently in the mail so we decided to bet on what seemed to be a sure thing: the first American movie by John Woo starring Jean Claude Van Damme. It's basically "The Most Dangerous Game" set in New Orleans. It was a good bet.
A perpetrually surprised looking woman goes to New Orleans looking for her father who left when she was young only to find out that he died mysteriously the day before. She almost gets mugged by some guys who Van Damme beats up for her. Turns out he is a Cajun native (with the greasiest mullet in America) so she pays him to lead her around the city and help her solve the mystery of her father's death. They stumble upon a company set up by some foreigners where rich people can pay to hunt poor people who will get $10,000 if they can make it ten miles to the Mississippi without dying. When the foreigners realize Van Damme is onto them, a third of the movie becomes an extended fight scene that takes place mostly in a warehouse full of old Mardi Gras floats. Oh, and at one point they meet up with Van Damme's uncle who is the guy from the diabetes commercial.
This movie is actually quite funny and most of that is thanks to John Woo and whoever edited this film. The direction and editing decisions are WILD. There are Woo trademarks like doves in the background and dual guns and a POV shot for an arrow, but there are also great awkward still frame moments, weird wipes and dissolves, and just tons of poorly timed cuts.
The biggest downside of this movie is that Van Damme doesn't wrestle a gator. We still totally won New Orleans bingo though.
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