Ben And Arthur [2002]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Knowing our and every bad movie enthusiast's passion for Tommy Wiseau's 2003 classic "The Room", it is difficult, impossible even, to resist the allure of a movie that Adam referred to simply as "The Gay Room" before specifing that the characters, not the room itself, were gay. From the opening credits we were struck by the fact that the technical quality was not up to "The Room"'s standards and clearly didn't have "The Room"'s confusing $6 million dollar budget but that pretty much every componant of the movie including directing, writing, producing, and acting included Sam Mraovich or someone with the same last name. This is the most personal of personal stories.

Ben and Arthur have been together three years and want to get married in Hawaii where gay marriage has just been legalized. However, before they can the law is overtured and Arthur finds out that Ben has been married to a woman for the past five years and she refuses to get a divorce. In spite of this, Ben and Arthur get married in Vermont (which is apparently full of palm trees, a fact this room full of New Englanders could not stop laughing about). The wife tries to kill Ben and he takes the gun and everything is fine. Meanwhile, after some minor subplot involving Ben and Arthur quitting their terrible restaurant jobs to get better jobs as a nurse and sex shop owner respectively, Arthur tries to get on better terms with his crazy religious brother Victor who thinks being gay is a sin in spite of the fact that he pings all the gaydars himself. Victor hires an investigator in a subplot that goes nowhere and then murders Ben and Arthur's lawyer who was trying to get their marriage recognized in the state of California. After a dinner of poptarts at Victor's that was supposed to be a truce, Victor somehow manages to get even crazier, leaving a "holy water recipe" on their door and then deciding to kill them after learning that the church is kicking him out for his gayness by association. Arthur meanwhile goes to the priest who kicked out his brother and set him on fire, proving that while gayness may not run in the family, insanity sure does. The final showdown happens when Victor goes to Ben and Arthur's apartment, kills Ben, and then drugs Arthur so he can baptise him in the bathtub. Arthur wakes up, grabs Ben's wife's gun, hits on his brother in the creepiest turn of events, and then both end up killing each other. Roll credits with "Pachelbel's Canon" playing you out.

This movie is a mess in every wonderful sense. The acting is weak and campy, the dialogue is mostly odd or full of unnessecary swearing fits, it's full of plot holes, every character is reprehensible to varying degrees, the whole premise is over-the-top and kind of offensive to both gay people and religious people, and it's just so, so low budget. The church was one of our favorite set pieces including a bad painting of Jesus tacked to the wall, a cardboard cross illuminated by a flashlight, and walls that didn't even connect in the corners. At one point the bed in Ben and Arthur's apartment had a different comforter every time it cut back, totaling three linen changes in one night. And Keith definitely saw a mic in the corner of a shot. Does it live up to the title of "The Gay Room"? We were all in agreement that there were enough similarities to justify the title and it's definitely a worthwhile watch.

Quotes:
Victor: "My brother is planning on marrying a man. I need to know his next move."
Detective: "I think what you're doing is morally wrong."

(to her husband) "Remember me?"

Spoon Rating: 8.5

Adam's Grandma's Review: "That was pretty good."