White Men Can't Dance [2012]

It took the longest time to figure out what this movie was actually about and the tone it was going for and even then, it wasn't exactly consistent. Either way, this is a passion project with the same guy writing, directing, and starring in the film and you can see what he likes in the script: breakdancing, younger women, character comedy, and family. Let me explain.

In the beginning we are introduced to Pete, a guy who has a pretty good life with his parents, much younger wife, and daughter who can't act. We get some wacky hijinks that made us wonder if the film was going to be silly and Who Killed Roger Rabbit-esque but that was mostly just the beginning. Things turn quickly when his workaholic father dies of kidney stones, two heart attacks, and abdominal bleeding all at once and Pete decides to off-road his SUV by a river and cry. His wife then gets bad news: their daughter needs a kidney operation that will cost $120,00 out of pocket and they need $50,000 to make up the total. In spite of owning a house, they don't know how they will pay for this and instead of talking about it, Pete decides to enter a breakdancing competition to win $40,000 and borrow the other $10,000 from his friends. Pete also has an idea of his stolen at work and he gets fired by the idea thief. He also doesn't discuss this with his wife, but he does break into his office in annoying disguises, eventually resulting in his rehiring. After all his disappearances to practice his dancing, his wife starts to think he's having an affair. At no point does this man ever come clean about what he's doing and there's no backstory to explain why he wouldn't tell her. It's agonizing. The last half hour is just breakdancing where we are treated to the fact that Pete can dance, but he can't dance nearly on the level of the young guys he's up against. He loses the competition but the winner gives him the prize money because he heard about the guy's daughter. Right after, the wife gets a call saying they got approved for a grant to pay for the surgery, reveling that while Pete was trying to win a breakdancing competition at 55, his wife was putting in the work to actually pay for the surgery. Men will do anything but go to therapy and talk to their wives. I guess white men really can't dance.

Overall, it was pretty good but at times just baffling more than funny. We ended the night watching videos of the Australian breakdancer at the 2024 Olympics getting absolutely smoked by her younger competitors, which really felt like the film in short honestly. Highly recommend.

Spoon Rating: 4