The film starts with Leia, the human main character, deciding on suicide by drowning after her mother-in-law says she will have to divorce her Alpha werewolf husband because she's a dirty human and he needs to make a productive werewolf alliance marriage. While in the water she gets blessed by a red light and is rescued by some servants who see she is now wearing a red gem ring (we find out way later she was blessed by a witch). With god-like powers, she goes home to ruin the engagement party of Sean, her ex she's not actually divorced from because werewolves can't actually get divorced from their mate, and Cecelia, the high-ranking werewolf he's set to marry. She does this by dropping a teacup. In the morning, she dramatically drops plates of food at breakfast rather than serve them. The scandal. Also, she has a facial scar that seems to be from Sean attacking her or something and it's gone now, but she doesn't want anyone to know so she wears a see-through mask. For no clear reason, she removes the mask later and it has a major Clark Kent effect because literally no one recognizes her even though she looks the same. She also decides she's going to divorce Sean which . . . is what everyone wants anyway? Either way, then she revives the King's son with her magic kiss so he now wants her. But also, her ex still wants her too and they have a moment of accident shower spray that results in a porno shot. Then she saves an urchin girl from being bullied and adopts her. Try to keep up. Leia's bio son, Elio (he's supposed to be 7 but he's like 13), is jealous of the adopted girl, Zoe, and conspires with Cecelia, a grown-ass woman, to hurt her. Zoe lied about her parentage in order to hook up Leia with the vampire king. Leia bumps him into a pool and now he wants her too. Also, Sean didn't actually want a divorce; he was being forced into the marriage and never though to just tell his wife that. Cecelia has her villain turn and conjures up a bunch of dark wizards we've never seen before to stage a coup on the king but Leia defeats them immediately with her magic ring. All three men still want her but she decides to just be single and use them as slave labor, which is actually based.
Putting aside the randomness of the plot, I want to talk about the stunning lack of supernatural stuff in these vertical dramas. You see, effects cost money and laying down unique lore is hard so we get werewolves who never actually turn into wolves with dubious rules about mates and hierarchies, vampires who can go in the sunlight and wear fake teeth that are actually worse than fake teeth I got at Spirit Halloween in 2008, and wizards who wear Alibaba bulk masks with their thin polyester capes and don't do magic. It's terrible. I love it. The whole of the effects in this movie are some red lines to show Leia's power, one almost interesting moment when a servant girl's arm turns into a werewolf fist, and a poof effect on the defeated wizards. Is the supernatural element literally just to dress them in corsets and brocade vests that no self respecting goth would wear? Do these werewolves have the life expectancy of vampires to justify their modernized old-fashioned attire and castles, which are usually just Bran Castle in Romania from different angles? I guess we can only have so many billionaire and mafia romances.
Spoon Rating: 8
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