The Octagon [1980]

This is a big moment. For a long time we have been working through a stack of movies that were acquired from the Book Barn so that we could assess their potential, and we have finally come to the last one. This Chuck Norris film may be the origin of the fighting stadium of the title name but unfortunately this movie didn't involve any folding chairs. Honestly, it barely involved any fighting. Or plot. It did have some really standout insane lines but at what cost?

The basic premise is that Chuck Norris at one point was trained as a ninja by his dad and alongside his brother. His brother got disowned and that brother went on to create a ninja mercenary training school while Chuck went on to live a normal life. The first thirty minutes of the movie are a series of seemingly unrelated scenes of ninja training at the school, Chuck going on a date who gets killed by ninjas later, a rich dude getting shot up, a younger rich lady asking Chuck to help her with her car, Chuck's friend fighting a sailor guy, etc. Somehow this all culminates in Chuck needing to fight his brother in the octagon at his training school. That's the last five minutes of the movie more or less and the journey to get there is long. At one point Adam and Sarah's daughter Jade leaned on the remote and fast forwarded a bit and we decided to just go with it.

The unfortunate thing is that this movie actually has some really hilarious lines. The screenwriter made some bold attempts at philosophical that do not work at all including the wonderful, "why are the peanuts always at the other end of the bar?" You could probably make a great two minute supercut. However, it's not actually worth it to subject yourself to the whole film just for the few bits.

Spoon Rating: 3