Hercules [2014]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

We've got some good options lined up in the future but since it was just Adam, Kay, and Grandma, we decided to watch something that probably wouldn't be too good. Since Adam loves a good bad battle scene and Kay loves any excuse to talk about mythology or historical costuming, we settled on "Hercules" starring Rock The Dwayne Johnson and a bunch of other people who had some spare time.

We spent a lot of this movie trying to figure out which part of the Hercules story was going to be told. The answer was, we made up a new story vaguely tied to mythology. All the 12 labors and the murder of his wife and kids are behind him and the whole thing just focuses on him and his band of mercenaries (yes, he has a band) getting hired to train the army of Thrace but it turns out they were the bad guys all along. Most of the movie is training montages and battle scenes. At least the battle scenes had moments of comedy for Adam who used the word stupid at least three times in relation to everything from flaming arrows to battle formations. Kay complained a lot about the costumes, especially Atlanta's boob armor, and got angry every time they used "Hades" to be synonymous with "Hell" instead of just the afterlife in general. She said "You're all going to Hades eventually!" many times.

Overall, don't bother. There are something like hundreds of Hercules movies in the world and this one didn't even feature moon men or lava monsters.

Spoon Rating: 3