REWATCH: Black Ninja [2003]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Because Kay had run off to Chicago for Memorial Day weekend, it was time for another rewatch. This one didn't get a full review the first time around so here it goes.

By day Malik Ali (played by Clayton Prince, the writer and director, who according to the behind the scenes feature seems to think he's famous for being on "The Cosby Show" twice) is a rhyming lawyer who insults his clients to win cases and is really good at "getting people off." By night he is the Black Ninja, a masked vigilante trying to fix the injustices that he performs in his day job who uses really old computers in his secret lair basement. Ali has the required tragic backstory of his once happy family being murdered by an assassin named the Red Ninja and he flashbacks about them a lot in scenes that are shot like a slow ballad R&B video from the early 90s. Why is his persona a takeoff of the persona of the man who killed his family? A trip to Japan. His main mission is to ultimately get revenge on the Red Ninja while also protecting a therapist he starts a relationship with. She gets kidnapped by a mafia boss who's constantly getting massaged by girls in bikinis. Black Ninja paralyzes him while he's farting on the toilet in a scene that I think was supposed to be funny. Then he rescues her from the Red Ninja and the world falls apart from the lack of vigilante justice in the city now that his mission is complete. I'm guessing.

This movie is often talked about among the Bad Movie Night crew as a movie that should be studied in film classes for how much it's a technical failure. Just some of the faults include:

• Poorly timed Adam West's "Batman" sound effects.
• Video quality from the 70s which one could claim was an homage to blaxploitation films but really just looks cheap. 
• Over lit during day scenes and under lit during night scenes.
• Atrocious sound editing.
• Casio keyboard background music.
• The three-peat shot which should only be used for straight up comedy.
• Also, not a technical failure but the clothes and linens are terrible.

The best thing about the movie is still the funky theme song but hilariously enough there is actually another "Black Ninja" specific song: A rap song during a scene of Black Ninja working out. It doesn't really hold a candle to the original theme though. Go watch the trailer to hear it.

Quotes:
"We the jury find Pookie Jenkins aka The Weasel aka Dr. Love not guilty."
"I miss having someone to talk to. And I miss having someone talk to me."

Adam's Grandma's Review: "Just as good as it was."
She's not wrong.