Ed [1996]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

"Ed" was billed as a delightful family comedy but was actually a terrifying and thought-provoking portrayal of discrimination in modern society. The lead character is perfectly capable of performing tasks demanded of a human both physically and mentally, clearly understands English even if its evolutionary disadvantage prevents it from clearly responding, and is even allowed to play baseball. And yet, one of owners of the baseball team tells the players to "treat him like a team member" after telling the lead that he owns him. He literally thinks of his as property. The team owner even has the gall to later insist that they should not let him play because, "We already let all kinds of people play this game" which reasonably prompted one of the black players to ask, "What's that supposed to mean?" This is movie that has both underlying racist tones and overt speciesest tones and you can't help but feel sympathy for our unfortunate lead's disadvantages.

I'm talking, of course, about Matt Leblanc.

This movie is about a chimp who plays baseball and lives with Matt Leblanc, causing stupid chaos for an hour and a half with one minor moment of tension towards the end where the chimp gets sold to a circus run by bikers and then rescued. Before we started the movie, Adam (who paid a whole $4 to rent this on Amazon) couldn't wait for the inevitable, "There's nowhere in the rulebook that says a monkey can't play" scene. We got that along with a scene in the beginning where the coach of the team pulls out a book titled "The Plan." We suspect he was reading ahead in the script.

This movie was a cartoon with all the hi-jinks and sound effects you'd expect that happened to feature real people. It was also full of shameless advertising plugs including at least three instances of drinking Coca-Cola or featuring the logo (and one of the monkey refusing a Pepsi) and "Friends" playing on the television which happens to feature His Woodenness Matt Leblanc. And I sure hope you like "spanking the monkey" jokes. There were at least two. Ironically, the monkey spanked Leblanc instead.

To show you what glory you would be missing from not watching this film, here's the many faces of Matt Leblanc:

Confused.

Pensive

Angry

Happy

Gassy

Violently Aroused

Quotes:
"Hacksaw my legs and call me shorty"
"Forget practice. You're all useless. Go home." (also what the director probably said to the actors)

(after Matt Leblanc's character receives a horseshoe in the mail from his parents)
Keith: "A horseshoe in a barn holds luck."
Adam: "It's not a bowl, dad. It can't hold anything."

Adam's Grandma's Review: "It was good for bad night. It was bad."