Sharknado [2013]

[Originally posted on Facebook on July 30, 2013]

Last night was a double feature of two equally horrible but different movies. First up, we just had to watch "Sharknado" what with everyone including the non-bad-movie-watching crowd checking it out. It's our third Asylum movie (after "Titanic II" and "Mega Piranha") and, as usual, they deliver prime shlock but this time with a premise that isn't just a knockoff and a marketing campaign designed around it being a silly idea (the tagline is "Enou gh said!"). There are parts that really deliver: an opener that never gets called back to, use of a chainsaw, Tara Reid who is now only capable of this sort of movie, the complete betrayal of the laws of physics, and an ending that made ALL of us (except Adam's grandma who was asleep) jump out of our seats and shout, "WHAT?!" Only downside: No title drop.

Quote: "I think we're gonna need a bigger chopper!"

Alone In The Dark [2005]

Our first Uwe Boll movie, "Alone In The Dark" stars a post-sexual-harassment-and-bar-fighting Christian Slater and Tara Reid playing, of all things, a scientist. The plot is nonsensical but at least there's a five minute long stationary seizure-inducing scene of nothing but machine gun fire. That's how action works, right?