In the beginning Pai Mei, a contract fighter for the emperor, kills the head of the Shaolin temple and then burns it down. The devotees of the temple escape, at one point hiding as a theater trope. They encounter a female martial artist who is trained in the crane style, as opposed to their tiger style, and she joins them. In a jump cut, she marries the head of the devotees and we get a long sequence about him trying to open her legs on the wedding night, but she's too strong. In another jump cut, she gives birth and vows to teach their son crane style. Her husband wants revenge on Pai Mei, and she says he will either need to learn her crane style or train tiger for ten years. He picks the later and in another cut, it's ten years later and he challenges Pai Mei, losing quickly and running off. Seven years later, he fights a lot with his son and decides to challenge Pai Mei again, this time dying offscreen. The son tries to learn tiger style so he can challenge Pai Mei but the guide his father left behind is kind of torn up so he creates his own version. The movie ends in the middle of the fight but we get a title card telling us that the son successfully killed Pai Mei.
This movie manages to jump time like crazy while still being so simple. I guess we needed to save time for more fighting. The best part is Pai Mei's magic crotch, which appears to be a black hole that his opponent's feet get stuck in. Overall, a fair amount of silly.
Spoon Rating: 4
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