The Visit [2015]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

We started off our evening with an instructional video from Occult Demon Cassette for the Rejuveniqe facial mask, the serial killer's skin care regimen. Then to counter something meant to be pleasant but is actually horrifying, we decided on something meant to be scary but if actually funny: M. Night Shyamalan's "The Visit." It's nice to know that Shyamalan has returned to form by making movies that are unintentionally funny. "The Visit" wasn't quite as good as "The Happening" but it was definitely a time.

The plot follows two kids, an older sister who is making a documentary and a younger brother who raps, as they go to meet and stay with their grandparents for the first time. They quickly realize that their grandparents are really weird. Grandma has night terrors and naked freak-outs. Grandpa keeps soiled diapers in a shed out back and fights strangers on the street. The movie is very slow but every time we get a moment of the grandparents being weird, it's hilarious. At one point grandma ominously makes the sister get in the oven but nothing comes of it. At another point they walk in on the grandfather with a shotgun in his mouth, which he quickly removes, saying, "I was just cleaning it!" Because of the pacing, it was really hard to figure out where we were in the movie until we get the Shyamalan twist: those aren't their grandparents. The sister goes into the basement and finds the bodies of her actual grandparents and has to stab her not-grandma to save her own life. The brother freezes in panic and gets a soiled diaper rubbed on his head but ultimately the two siblings are able to fight off the not-grandpa too. There's an attempt at a heart-warming ending with the mom and an end credits rap from the brother that is painful.

This movie is definitely worth your time. We got quite a few laughs and it's likely those two lines below will enter the pantheon of movie quotes that we randomly shout at each other like "Is it a good bust?" "Yeah. Cocaine." and "Why're you eyeing my lemon drink?"

Quotes:

[while the grandma is explaining grandpa's inconvenience and keeping of his soiled diapers]
"He's a very physical man."

"Why are your pants so low?"

"I rap."

Spoon Rating: 6.5