Elves [1989]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

I actually don't know where to start with this one. On Wikipedia it only lists one writer but I could swear in the credits there were three and oh boy, does it feel like three different movies haphazardly smashed into one. I don't even want to try to explain the plot honestly so I'll keep this one short and sweet. 

It has Dan Haggerty of "Repo Jake" fame (oh and some television show in the 70s that wasn't well known or anything) playing the down on his luck good guy who may just be him in real life. There's a Christmas motif to this movie but it doesn't play much of a role outside of being set during Christmas, mall Santas, and some sort of "anti-Christmas" ritual in the beginning. There's an evil elf but they don't really seem to have anything to do with Christmas. More so the film is about Nazis and inbreeding in order to create a master race. Really. The main character is a result of her father and her grandfather being the same person and now she is expected to have sex with the elf to create powerful hybrids. Although we don't see elf sex and we mostly just get a lot of murdering and Nazis, they do set up for a sequel by implying that she got pregnant offscreen somehow.

Honestly, this movie isn't especially funny but it has its moments and it's kind of worth a watch because it's so bizarre.

Quote:
"What's wrong? Are we going to be alright?"
"No, Willy. Grandpa's a Nazi."

Spoon Rating: 4