'Tis the season for vampires. According to the vampire tag, our previous vampire movies have featured a vampire dog, vampires in space, vampires based on a video game, and a "Twilight" ripoff. By that reckoning, this is the most normal vampire movie we have watched at Bad Movie Night and is also unquestionably one of the best.This is a movie that seems to not understand transitions but we eventually managed to follow the plot. Dracula took a bride for himself 300 years ago named Sonia, which we need to be shown for some reason, and then we flash forward to modern California where our protagonist's girlfriend dies in a tragic water-skiing accident. Following the funeral, protag goes on vacation to Prague and ends up wandering the countryside. He walks into a small town bar and is baffled to see that the owner's daughter, Carla, looks identical to his dead girlfriend. This plot point goes nowhere. Also, the town has a Dracula problem. In this folklore, he can go in the sun but not direct sunlight and it weakens him, and he can be killed with silver. Dr. Van Helsing comes in and he is the weakest Van Helsing in media. Even with Dracula eating in the town bar, he neglects to do anything about it. The plot ramps up when Dracula kidnaps Carla after a weird sex scene with the protag and turns her into a vampire. Protag and Helsing go to save her but they both end up falling victim to Dracula. Uniquely, it's a happy ending because now they are all one big vampire coven and they dance around their tower while Dracula plays classical tunes.
There are a lot of reasons this movie is a delight. There's bad CGI, public domain music that often casts a comical light on something presumably not meant to be funny, bad acting, a low budget, and just all around madness. We're borderline on whether this movie deserves a rewatch but it most definitely deserves to be seen once.
Weird Credits:
Mr. Sachen's Girlfriend - Squishy
Mr. Sachen's Other Girlfriend - Vanda
Catering - Sometimes
Spoon Rating: 7
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