Monday, August 28, 2023

Ninja Terminator [1986]

The plot of this one was utterly unable to be followed, but the film itself did provoke a lot of laughs. 

A three part golden statue that makes you invincible from the waist up is stolen by three ninjas in black. One is killed, has a sister named Machiko who works in a restaurant, and gets his piece taken back by the red ninjas who originally had it. One plays with fire. One has a mustache and is named Harry. They receive death threats in the form of a cute little smoke robot and later violent VHS tapes on a different little robot. The three people with the pieces fight at the end but each of them has an invincible part of themselves. There's a crew lead by a man in a terrible Party City wig trying to get the pieces. Some other guy named Jaguar is trying to investigate the killed guy's death and that whole subplot feels like it walked in from another movie and dominates at least half the run time. At no point do the plots intersect.

The dubbing on this movie is bad, the fighting results in boing-like sound effects, and there are a bunch of fun lines. The filming and editing is also bad with scenes that end too quickly, zooms-in to the space between two people, and blocking with both people sitting out of frame. If you want to know what's happening, this will frustrate you. If trying to follow the plot doesn't matter at all, you might actually love this one and rate it even higher than we did.

Spoon Rating: 5

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