REWATCH: Troll 2 [1990]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

"Troll 2" is a masterpiece of bad movies. I can't even fully explain it all in a post. From the fact that there isn't a single troll in the movie, to the forced acting and extravagant overacting, to the odd script, to the weird fact that plants are evil, to the lack of ending and so much more, it's hard to pick a favorite thing.

Some things that happen:
* A kid hallucinates his dead grandpa who at one point appears in the mirror of his sister's room by accident.
* The sister's boyfriend is clearly banging his friends in a trailer after they stalked her on her family vacation.
* The family vacation her dad picked is to go to a town of 65 people and do a house exchange. The town is called Nilbog. Spell it backwards.
* The locals are not quirky. They are goblins in people suits.
* They also want you to eat their weird green food so you turn into a plant that they can eat.
* Speaking of: "They're eating her! . . . And then they're going to eat me! . . . OH MY GOOOOOOOODDD!"
* One of the boyfriend's friends gets defeated by a baloney sandwich given to him by Sherrif Gene Freak. Such a trustworthy name!
* Two of the friends end up in a church that is now the home of the Goblin Queen (way less awesome than the Goblin King, of course). She's melodramatic, some sort of fakey Druid, and uses a magic spell to get hot so she can seduce the third friend. They eat a corncob together and makeout in a sea of popcorn. This scene is never explained but it's very corny.
* At one point the kid pees all over goblin food to save his family and his dad lectures him about how he, "can't piss on hospitality!"
* The movie actually uses the line: "Only the power of goodness can destroy these monsters."
* But it doesn't totally work because the goblins also poisoned their food at their house and the mom turns into goblin food.
* Cliffhanger! 
* I don't think there's a "Troll 3."
* Were there actual trolls in "Troll"?

Other Quotes:
"You're human!"
"Very human. Wanna see?"

Adam's Grandma's Review: "Kinda good, kinda bad."

Spoon Rating: 8.5