Savage Beach [1989]

It's safe to say that Andy Sidaris films are good bad movie night material but not something you should watch with any kind of frequency. Unlike Neil Breen or even Tommy Wiseau's scattered works, Andy Sidaris has a niche that is so specific and so often repeated that any Andy Sidaris film can easily be confused for any other. While we have generally considered Malibu Express to be the worst and Hard Ticket to Hawaii the best, all the others just fall into this general area of "fine." So here is our yearly watch of a Sidaris film: Savage Beach.

As usual, the plot revolves around some government agents, one of whom is played by Dona Spier. They are trying to get some medicine to sick kids on a remote Pacific island when their plan goes down n a deserted island. They eat some coconuts and strip naked to swim in response. Eventually, they encounter a Japanese man in terrible old age makeup who seems bent on protecting them and not causing problems. It turns out he killed non-Dona's grandfather during World War II, and they have the same eyes. While this is going on, the whitest Filipino delegate and some Americans are on a hunt for lost treasure that is somewhere around the island. All three plots come to a head and our eternally braless heroines end up on top, taking a few gold bars on their way to afford the plane repairs. In between all of this you have to imagine a lot of piloting planes, women getting naked to change outfits, a few sex scenes, and a lot of unfunny dialogue. Classic Sidaris.

In spite of how classic it was, we didn't actually win Andy Sidaris Bingo but dang did we come close. The locations were too clear and the dressing sequences kept cutting out before they got excessive:

Spoon Rating: 5