[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
We decided to forsake the blaxploitation and martial arts options presented to us for more Occult Demon Cassette. Two Fridays ago Adam and Kay went through a bunch of ODC videos and watched a few minutes to see if they might be worth a full watch. From those films that we narrowed down, we decided on one called "Sex And Dating," a Biblically based seminar given to teens by a hillbilly from Virginia who is trying very hard to be cool and relatable. There were a couple of laughs (like how comically off his perception of masturbation by gender is), but overall it was a bit more on the side of interesting artifact. Compared to current religious rhetoric about sex that advocates not hugging until you're engaged, the speaker's stance of holding hands, hugging, and kissing (yes, even of the French variety) is all okay before marriage. The seminar did take a slightly darker turn when his wife came on stage and mentioned some classic traditional marriage talking points (see: woman must serve her husband) but overall, it worked better as a conversation starter than a comedy.
Spoon Rating: 3
After our main feature, we decided on two shorter videos called "The Small Dinner Strategy" and "Gun Safety With Eddie Eagle."
"The Small Dinner Stategy" was an absolutely wild ride. The video was an instructional guide about how to host dinner parties to raise money for independent pastors by uncomfortably trapping your religious friends with food and a 30 minute plead for cash. We recommend watching it. It's not necessarily funny so much as shocking but you just need to see it.
Spoon Rating: 5
"Gun Safety With Eddie Eagle" is quite funny. A cartoon eagle teaches kids not to touch any guns they find roaming about in the wild. Weirdly though, at least a third of the relatively short run time is devoted to the origin story of Eddie. Jason Priestly is also there to instantly date the production. It's even got a safety dance (no, not that one).
Spoon Rating: 7
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Tuesday, February 4, 2020
The Visit [2015]
[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
We started off our evening with an instructional video from Occult Demon Cassette for the Rejuveniqe facial mask, the serial killer's skin care regimen. Then to counter something meant to be pleasant but is actually horrifying, we decided on something meant to be scary but if actually funny: M. Night Shyamalan's "The Visit." It's nice to know that Shyamalan has returned to form by making movies that are unintentionally funny. "The Visit" wasn't quite as good as "The Happening" but it was definitely a time.
The plot follows two kids, an older sister who is making a documentary and a younger brother who raps, as they go to meet and stay with their grandparents for the first time. They quickly realize that their grandparents are really weird. Grandma has night terrors and naked freak-outs. Grandpa keeps soiled diapers in a shed out back and fights strangers on the street. The movie is very slow but every time we get a moment of the grandparents being weird, it's hilarious. At one point grandma ominously makes the sister get in the oven but nothing comes of it. At another point they walk in on the grandfather with a shotgun in his mouth, which he quickly removes, saying, "I was just cleaning it!" Because of the pacing, it was really hard to figure out where we were in the movie until we get the Shyamalan twist: those aren't their grandparents. The sister goes into the basement and finds the bodies of her actual grandparents and has to stab her not-grandma to save her own life. The brother freezes in panic and gets a soiled diaper rubbed on his head but ultimately the two siblings are able to fight off the not-grandpa too. There's an attempt at a heart-warming ending with the mom and an end credits rap from the brother that is painful.
This movie is definitely worth your time. We got quite a few laughs and it's likely those two lines below will enter the pantheon of movie quotes that we randomly shout at each other like "Is it a good bust?" "Yeah. Cocaine." and "Why're you eyeing my lemon drink?"
Quotes:
The plot follows two kids, an older sister who is making a documentary and a younger brother who raps, as they go to meet and stay with their grandparents for the first time. They quickly realize that their grandparents are really weird. Grandma has night terrors and naked freak-outs. Grandpa keeps soiled diapers in a shed out back and fights strangers on the street. The movie is very slow but every time we get a moment of the grandparents being weird, it's hilarious. At one point grandma ominously makes the sister get in the oven but nothing comes of it. At another point they walk in on the grandfather with a shotgun in his mouth, which he quickly removes, saying, "I was just cleaning it!" Because of the pacing, it was really hard to figure out where we were in the movie until we get the Shyamalan twist: those aren't their grandparents. The sister goes into the basement and finds the bodies of her actual grandparents and has to stab her not-grandma to save her own life. The brother freezes in panic and gets a soiled diaper rubbed on his head but ultimately the two siblings are able to fight off the not-grandpa too. There's an attempt at a heart-warming ending with the mom and an end credits rap from the brother that is painful.
This movie is definitely worth your time. We got quite a few laughs and it's likely those two lines below will enter the pantheon of movie quotes that we randomly shout at each other like "Is it a good bust?" "Yeah. Cocaine." and "Why're you eyeing my lemon drink?"
Quotes:
[while the grandma is explaining grandpa's inconvenience and keeping of his soiled diapers]
"He's a very physical man."
"Why are your pants so low?"
"He's a very physical man."
"Why are your pants so low?"
"I rap."
Spoon Rating: 6.5
Spoon Rating: 6.5
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