Frozen [2010]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

This is gonna be a fairly short write-up because this movie can actually be summed up in one sentence. If you are irritated by this, I suggest you just . . . let it goooooooo. Let it gooooooooo.

So a bunch of annoying college kids go on a Sunday skiing trip in Massachusetts: guy, girlfriend, and annoying stoner friend who wants to hook up with someone. The guys convince the girl to flirt with the ski lift operator so they can get cheaper lift tickets and then nonsense happens for another 20 minutes or so. As the place is closing down, the three ask for just one more ride to the top only to have the place shut down while they are on the lift. They all freak out about how the place won't open until Friday and don't think to immediately cover every little part of exposed skin. As the BMN crew entirely consists of New Englanders, we had no sympathy for the frostbite they suffered since they wouldn't even put on their hoods. At one point the girl loses a mitten and doesn't put her hand in her pocket. She even falls asleep with her bare hand on the handle of the lift and has to rip it off. Idiots. Anyway, first stoner friend tries to climb the wire to the nearest ladder down but gives up quickly and tears his glove. Then the guy decides to just jump down but first disengages his snowboard which is a terrible idea because it could have somewhat broken his fall. He breaks both his legs and gets eaten by wolves. It is hilarious from start to finish: the bone prosthetics, the guy's screaming, his girlfriend's poorly acted crying. It's pretty much the scene that single-handedly bumped this review up from 2 spoons to 3. After that, the girl and stoner have a lot of pointless conversations and she pees her pants to dramatic music. The next day the sun manages to melt their frozen bodies a bit and stoner guy tries to climb to the ladder again and succeeds, going to get help. The apparently poorly made lift ends up falling off the rails with enough slowness that the girl manages to get to the ground without much injury and goes to find the stoner who . . . has been eaten by wolves. She gets to the highway and flags down a car. We wonder why the director hates wolves so much and shout out, "Hungry puppies!" a lot.

Spoon Rating: 3

Adam's Grandma's Review: "It was tense."