Let me disappoint you immediately as we have all been disappointed: there are no lady werewolves in this movie. I'm not saying that we picked this movie heavily on the possibility of there being werewolf Nazis but I will say that when Adam was reading out the titles of potential movies this was the first one mentioned and we all screamed, "Yes!" This probably has something to do with the fact that all of us have seen Grindhouse and were probably thinking of Rob Zombie's movie trailer for his fake movie, "Werewolf Women of the SS." Instead of a werewolf Nazi movie we got a Nazi torture porn film mixed with a softcore porn and if those tastes don't sound like they go together, it's probably because they really shouldn't. This film opens on sex between Ilsa, the Uberfrau leader of a special medical experiment camp, and one of the prisoners who she castrates right after as part of some theory that "inferior" races have inferior junk. Then the camp gets a new shipment of ladies who Ilsa questions and looks at naked before subjecting them to things like boiling, disease, and sterilization by a phallic vibrator wrapped in an electric coil. Also, nipple clamps were always a part of this for some reason. One of the girls is really good at not reacting to pain so she gets even more done to her as part of an experiment Ilsa is running to prove that women can be valuable in combat roles. A bit later a shipment of men come in sporting the red triangle of political prisoners. One of them is a blonde American who was born in Germany and of course he becomes Ilsa new toy. What she doesn't realize is, he's capable of holding off an orgasm indefinitely and this ability (which she then tests by watching him in a threeway with two other female guards) makes her something of a willing slave to him. Meanwhile, American guy and his Italian friend team up with the girls at the camp to plan an escape. Ilsa does more horrible stuff, invites over her commanding officer who she has a dinner with where they can watch a woman get slowly hanged, pees on said commanding officer at his request, and we went outside to play with sparklers as a distraction from the horribleness. At the climax (*rimshot*) of the film, American guy ties Ilsa to the bed and the escape plan goes into action. They manage to overtake the guards but their plans are foiled when German soldiers arrive to gun everyone down to destroy evidence of the camp's horrors. Pain girl stumbles into Ilsa's room to try to kill her but dies from her injuries before she succeeds and the job is finished by a German soldier cleaning house. American guy and the girl he likes, Rosette, are the only ones who make it out.
This movie was mostly unpleasant. We got a couple laughs from facial expressions and the fact that occasionally Ilsa and the lady Nazis would have their shirts halfway unbuttoned for a scene for no reason whatsoever (Adam said that this seemed like a Mel Brooks joke but it was totally serious). If you really want to watch some Nazisplotation, try "The Night Porter," although that's actually a decent movie. Maybe just cross your fingers that Rob Zombie actually makes his Nazi werewolf movie.
This movie summed up in one picture.
Löffel rating: 2
No comments:
Post a Comment