The Wicker Man [2006]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

[Also, sorry for a very belated entry (well, soon to be three). Being out of the country got in the way of writing.]

Back in 1973 the movie "Wicker Man" was released and it was called the "Citizen Kane of horror movies." It was about a devout policeman going to investigate the disappearance of a little girl from an isolated community in Nowhere, Britain. It was creepy and engaging and had a very pretty song in it. This is the remake. Starring Nicolas Cage. 

After being written a letter by an ex saying that her daughter has gone missing (one guess who the father is), Nic Cage ventures to a mysterious isolated community that is almost solely women with the exception of a few men who are silent and used for labor and breeding (Pro tip: this is not the feminist agenda but anti-feminists will tell you that it is). No one will give him any information about the girl including her own mother who acts like she is constantly on some high doses of sleep inducing medicine. In spite of physical evidence to the contrary, every one in the community denies that the girl ever existed in the first place. There's also a squirming thing in a bag that you never actually see inside of, a bunch of schoolgirls shouting out "phallic symbol, phallic symbol, phallic symbol" in cult-like monotones, and vague talk of an upcoming festival. 

The acting is every thing you want it to be when it comes from Nic Cage and the plot is held together by the thinnest threads but gosh, are Cage freakouts always fun to watch.

Summarizing Line: "I'm trying to trust you here but every time I turn my head there's something that doesn't make any sense!"

Interesting Credit: (at the very end) "FOR JOHNNY RAMONE."

Adam's Grandma's Review: "Eh, it was okay." (a few minutes later) "What a waste."

Keith and Adam's grandma were really on the ball and decided to contribute to the experience by providing wicker:

Also, here is a collection of scenes from the film. You probably don't want to watch the whole thing since it's full of spoilers but you should definitely skip to the 4 minute mark and watch the proceeding ten seconds. Nic Cage dressed as a bear punches a woman in the face and then tells the girl next to her, "Don't be frightened!." It's glorious.