Moonfall [2022]

It's been a while! With me being away for most of the summer, there haven't been any movie nights but we're back. This one is a suggestion given to Adam and Sarah by some people they met at a live God Awful Movies show. Within five minutes Adam said, "Wait. This isn't a Roland Emmerich movie, is it?" and he was exactly right. According to Adam, "Roland Emmerich has just been remaking Independence Day for years." While this wasn't quite the same, it certainly felt similar. The beats of every Emmerich movie are the same, but this one managed to gradually increase in stupidity as the film went on through it's two hour (yikes) run time.

The film starts with Patrick Wilson, Halle Berry, and someone else in space when the third guy gets killed by a mysterious electronic-seeming entity. Wilson is blamed and fired, but many years later they get caught up in an issue when the moon's orbit is changing dramatically. The discovery was made by Nick Frost, a conspiracy theorist. After a lot of nonsense, the three of them end up going to the moon to try to blow up the problem only to make the discovery that the moon is full of hyper advanced technology left behind by a super intelligent race of ancient humans. They all got wiped out when the AI that ran their peaceful society decided to attack them, and those are the entities they are fighting against. While all this is going on there is a stunningly useless side plot about Wilson and Berry's families trying to survive among the extreme weather changes, but it sucks because we have no emotional investment in any of them. In the end, Frost sacrifices himself because he doesn't have kids or whatever, and a hologram of his mother tells him "you're part of the moon now" with some kind of implication that there might be a sequel. Doubt it.

This movie gets funnier as it goes on, particularly if you don't know where it's going. The plot twists are comically dumb and the whole thing looks terrible. Adam said it looks like Grand Theft Auto 7 with the green screens that encompass all the settings. Some of the line reads are also so inexplicable or just weird lines like I mentioned above. Overall, we wish it had been shorter (that side plot should have been cut) but it was a fun time.

Spoon Rating: 5