Little Hercules In 3D [2009]

This film has been sitting on top of our "roll the dice" stack of films for a while. At one point, we actually got it but upon realizing it was actually in 3D, we decided to wait and get some glasses. They didn't help. Aside from all of us just hating 3D in general on a scale of "it's unnecessary" to "oh god, the headaches" the film could basically be watched entirely without the glasses, which really only serve to make it darker and off-color. And honestly, no gimmick was going to help this movie.

The film stars a kid who was actually known as Little Hercules back in the day for being a kid who started strength training very young. This kid, and no one else really, but especially this kid, can't act. There are some known people in this movie, particularly Hulk Hogan as Zeus, but the film seems to have been made on a budget of a few sticks of gum. The plot is that Hercules gets tricked into going down to Earth by Hera where he now has to go to school in Burbank and be normal. He makes friends with a kid known for bringing home strays, joins the track and field team, falls for the first girl he sees, and gets bullied by guys who look like college kids with "punk" styling. It's very boring. There's some sort of conflict with the king of Babylon where he and Zeus are enemies so the king becomes a couch at the school? Also, seemingly Babylonian mythology exists alongside Greek? Oh, and the school is shutting down. No explanation why but they imply that it's because they such at sports, which shows a really fundamental lack of understanding how schools work at all. Either way, Herc wins the meet and decides to become human like an idiotic 12-year-old would.

There are some laughs to be had with the bad acting, the bad camera work (and the zooms and freezes), and the pathetic attempts at 3D gimmicks but ultimately you could waste your time on much better mythology based movies.

Spoon Rating: 2