[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
So we started the evening by watching some bad audition videos (after the joy of "You Could Go To 5 or 6 Stores" Adam had a hunger for more) but two of them seemed a bit too fake to be enjoyable. One called "casting audition for soft drink commerical" was pretty good and seemed real if you've got a few minutes but nothing could top the video from last week.
Our main feature for our first quarantine Bad Movie Night with all members calling in was "How To Get . . . Revenge," a curious entry from our favorite Occult Demon Cassette. Before the video starts, it mentions that it is a humorous piece for mature customers, but what makes it so curious is that so much of it is dead serious. There are a few moments that feel like intentional comedy, like when they show a stereotypical 80s nerd getting heckled by a stereotypical 80s biker, but so much of it feels like a completely genuine instructional guide. Linda Blair hosts and has guests who specialize in car revenge, phone revenge, mail revenge, and home revenge. A lot of the advice is pretty expected, and some would be a lot harder to pull off in 2020, but it's all delivered in a pretty straight forward way that ends up being kind of tragically funny The most startling comment was, "If your mark is a minority, try calling immigration services," but there were plenty of things discussed that would definitely get you arrested, like writing out a fake death certificate and breaking and entering. One of the best moments was when a guy starts his story with, "I got fired for no god damn reason. . ." and then details how he got revenge, thus proving that his firing was definitely likely to be justifiable.
It was a great and very strange watch all around and only about 45 minutes.
Spoon Rating: 8
[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
We may all be stuck inside during this time of pandemic, but Bad Movie Night marches on. We've been doing this for seven and a half years; a little virus isn't going to stop us. We've just had to go virtual as you can see below. Also as you can see below, we were down an Erik tonight but four out of five's not too bad. We decided to watch "Low Blow," a low budget fighting movie that is conveniently available on YouTube.
This movie was highly entertaining. The plot revolves around a man whose main personality trait is that he's bad at driving (also of note, seemingly not the man on the cover of the DVD to the left) and he's a butt kicker who kicks butts. Sometimes without reason. He runs some sort of jack-of-all-trades crime fighting agency and never has any money. One day he's asked to save a girl from a cult run by a man who's always sitting and never removes his hood even if his shirt is off. His right hand is a crazy lady who loves to hype people up but doesn't care for all the love nonsense he preaches. The movie is a meandering journey to this rescue, but it's full of nonsense on the way there. There's a fighting competition in a pit, the complete and oddly calm destruction of a bad guy's car with a buzzsaw, and a joke about eggs that makes no sense. In addition to the weirdness and bad acting, it's also got some pretty atrocious sound mixing so, you've been warned.
It's definitely worth your time.
Spoon Rating: 6.5
Afterwards we decided to experiment a bit with Watch2Gether, the application we were using to watch the movie. Adam put on his favorite "Eagleman" commercial and we realized there are a ton of sequels we haven't seen that are equally great. The crown jewel of the YouTube search though was a video called "You Could Stop At Five Or Six Stores," a highly-memed complication of people's acting reels. Even if you don't have time for "Low Blow," commit the eight and a half minutes to this one.
Spoon Rating: 9
[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
Again, we have to put off "Dolemite" for another week because Erik wasn't there again. Although it is worth noting that Adam now has a box set of all of Rudy Ray Moore's film including past bad movie night watches, "Disco Godfather" and "Petey Wheatstraw." Either way, tonight we turned to Occult Demon Cassette. We decided to watch something called "The Cults," which turned out to be something of a combination between a news report from the Waco Texas incident and a dramatization of one man's experience falling into the Moonies cult.
Overall, it was a kind of interesting film but not especially funny in its own right. We got a solid laugh out of, "It's not deception. It's heavenly deception!" and there were a few chuckles out of the comically evil leader who recruits the main character, but otherwise it wasn't really worth your time. We were hoping for more of a Satanic panic sort of thing, but this film didn't have nearly enough misguided fear mongering.
Spoon Rating: 2
[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
Because Erik wasn't there, we decided to wait on watching "Dolemite," Rudy Ray Moore's classic, and instead opt for a movie that Adam could verify the quality of. The title isn't much but during the very cheap credits we got a very interesting detail about an actor who is described as the "French monkey star." Kay automatically assumed this meant the actor is a monkey but Adam pointed out the monkey could be a nickname for some Frenchman. Kay was right and it wasn't just a little cameo either.
The plot involves a large rivalry for the throne and a king's daughter getting poisoned. He decides that to cure her he will offer her hand in marriage to whoever can make her better. The one who does is a monkey. So she marries a monkey. And the father, in shame, sends her away on a boat with her monkey husband. There is no irony in this premise. The daughter has a son with a non-monkey. Lots of poorly-lit fighting happens. You never get accustomed to the fact that this women is just married to a monkey. Some political stuff happens but it's pretty irrelevant to all the monkeyness.
This one is definitely worth a watch, but it's probably a more enjoyable watch if you don't know where it's going. In addition to the absolutely wild premise, there's a lot of bad camera work, bad lighting, gloriously bad dubbing, and some really wild costumes.
Spoon Rating: 6
[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
A few weeks ago we had an Occult Demon Cassette double feature of "Isaac Asimov's Robots" and "Reality Check." The first was a VCR mystery game that we didn't actually have the pieces to play along with but it did have some weirdness in its very 80s character designs.
Spoon Rating: 3
The second thing we watched was "Reality Check," a delightfully bad self-defense video. It's a solid time.
Spoon Rating: 6
Enjoy these ambiguous screenshots.
