Baby's Day Out [1994]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

On Monday we happened upon some very forbidden knowledge that we would like to share with all of you: John Hughes was never very good. Yes, everyone loves "The Breakfast Club" and if you were the right age at the time you have found memories of "Home Alone" but a really notable portion of the films he wrote were not good and only got worse over time. The pinnacle of that descent into intolerable reached its zenith with "Baby's Day Out," an utterly deplorable excuse for a film that Sarah's father apparently loved because he had terrible taste (recall that he also loved "Undercover Blues"). 

"Baby's Day Out" follows a baby from a very wealthy family on his journey around New York City. It starts with him getting kidnapped by some thieves posing as photographers but they are utterly incompetent. Baby gets out and goes around on various forms of transportation, he goes to the zoo, and he spends a lot of time at a construction site. Meanwhile, basically no one notices this unattended one-year-old and the three stooges keep ending up in situations that would literally kill someone as they try to get him back. This sadistic baby literally laughs whenever they are in pain. By the end of the movie, we estimated that each of the three robbers has survived through roughly three times when they should have died. Soon the reports of an unattended toddler make it to the family where the nanny realizes that the baby is somehow going to all the places listed in his favorite book called "Baby's Day Out." Yes, we are to believe that this baby not only has memorized this book but that he is able to navigate around New York to find these places at a crawling pace. Because the baby is so methodical, they manage to rescue him at the veteran's home.

This movie is a cartoon that happens to feature live actors. This movie has no target audience. This movie is the inevitable bastardization of "Home Alone" becoming successful, an extreme that only alienates and shows a lack of understanding of why "Home Alone" is liked by anyone. Do not watch this if you value your time but if you must understand, there's a solid Red Letter Media review of it that gives you all the experience of watching it made tolerable.

Spoon Rating: One baby spoon.