After a bad Windows rainbow screensaver, the film starts with Penny and James in unhappy domestic life where Penny is still working as a stripper. She also wears five pounds of make up and fake eyelashes at all times. Penny gets a business card from a "Hollywood director" and decides to leave to become a dancer in some fictional city called Seven Sisters. She hitches a ride with some performers she found in a trailer park but one of them murders the rest of them and then dies, leaving Penny flush for cash. She gets a fancy apartment and a slutty maid who's working on her masters to pillow fight with.
Her first step in her career begins when she meets a creepy dude in some sort of beer garden who takes her to an occult house, complete with Lynchian nightmare performance. Creepy Dude gets somewhat interested in her career and takes her to a fancy party, which she wears a prom dress to with a child's birthday tiara. She meets a former prima ballerina and gets pimped out to a foreign royal, which she's originally mad about but then just kind of accepts it. Penny tries to improve her dancing at home while she watches some televised dancing program that is not nearly as scandalous as the Goddess show from "Showgirls" and is clearly filled in the dark wing of a theater. The lead dancer breaks her leg and the prima ballerina takes over. The prima ballerina also offers to teach Penny ballet and they dabble in some light girl-on-girl and drinking what appears to be Mountain Dew out of wine glasses.
Penny then gets pimped out to and sleeps with the show's producer, the former lead dancer, and the producer's bang assistant or something, which gets her an audition for the show and a spot in the show. Creepy guy claims it was his pimping that got her the part and she pushes him down the stairs and shoots him with blanks.
She and prima ballerina decide to leave for San Francisco where prima becomes her pimp while she walks the streets. She ends up taking over for prima during a show where she died (?) and James shows up again to tell her she's doing great but that he wrote a new number for her and she should come home. She refuses, and later gets arrested with some other streetwalkers for the murder crime in the beginning, and she spends only six months in jail. Slutty maid gets her free by solving the crime and tells her she wrote her thesis about her. Turns out while she was in jail she became famous for her false conviction.
This movie is long at two and a half hours. For a parody, that's a bit exhausting, especially when most of the jokes are just references to the most notable lines and scenes from the first movie. There are some funny bits, but it takes forever to get to them in between the references and plot twists. The production value is low and the acting is bad, but possibly intentionally. One of the most amusing things about the film is actually the public domain music, which includes an ominous rendition of "Pop Goes The Weasel," electric guitar "Nutcracker," and circus music. Either way, the movie really doesn't have enough to warrant a watch.
We ended the evening with the 12 minute long "Game Crazy Training Video" which we highly recommend for its very serious use of 90s slang.
Quotes:
"I made a deal with God and lapdancing is as far as I go."
"You have a beautiful smile. You have to keep it lubed up."
"Twin sister. She died in an accident. A bubble bath accident."
Spoon Rating: 3
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