Two things about this movie right away: 1.) This is some of the most blatant marketing ever but this movie also came out at a time when people were sinking money into movies based off board games and 2.) It's always nice to see Lacey Chabet getting work. Technically she doesn't need work as she has been working steadily her whole career and has 131 actor credits on IMDb, but it always feels like she's not getting work since no one can really name a movie she's been in since "Mean Girls." Mostly she does a lot of television movies about Christmas, and apparently doing a little Christian romantic comedy was a nice break from this in some ways. And I can't think of a bigger name actress who is young and seems like a rom com protagonist who would be willing to do this movie so, score for "Christian Mingle."
The film is about Gwenyth, a successful career lady who just can't find the right guy. As all movies know, you are an utter faliure as a woman unless you have a career, husband, and kids, and she is determined to do whatever it takes. So she signs up for Christian Mingle after being taken in by their good advertising (she's an ad executive, by the way, which makes this embarassing), but there's one problem: she's not a Christian! Well, not really. She was baptized and has heard about God, but to the Jesus fandom, she's a noob. She goes out with a guy who we all thought would be the inital date before the romantic lead comes in, but it turned out Sad Khakis was our leading man. He calls his dad "Papa" and can't eat tuna sushi and Gwenyth is clearly the most adventurous girl he's ever met, let alone dated. Gwenyth is besotted for some reason and picks up "Christianity for Dummies" and a Bible at the bookstore to keep up her facade. Thus ensues many silly mistakes on her part like forgetting to say "Amen" at the end of grace. Then Sad Khakis up and leaves for a charity trip to Mexico with his parents and the girl they want him to be with. Gwenyth up and leaves for Mexico too, totally unprepared for doing labor, and her lies are reveled to Khakis when someone finds her "Christianity for Dummies" book in her bag (why did she even bring it). They break up right before the third act and she actually turns to God for real after a series of cry sessions and the discovery of a hipper church that is more her style than Catholic suffering. She goes to Sad Khakis' church to try to convince him that she's changed and finds that he's now with the girl his parents want him to be with. She tears him a new one for listening to his parents and not making his own choices, which is actually completely fair, and then decides to quit her job and move to the town in Mexico that they had helped to become a teacher. Sad Khakis realizes his mistake in letting her go, finds a slightly better sense of style, and goes to Mexico so they can get back together. And, presumably because God said so, they live happily ever after.
This movie was a pretty enjoyable watch. The acting is sincere and the budget is far higher than we thought Christian Mingle could afford for what was basically an hour and 40 minute advert. Most of the laughs came from the premise and specifically the fact that it's actually kind of a servicable but horrendously predictable rom com that has been sprinkled with Jesus. But how does it work as an advert? Honestly, not so great. Sad Khakis isn't really anyone's idea of a dream man, Christian or not, and his transformation comes too late in the game to really change anyone's mind. It's actually more effective as a film if you say that it's about deciding things for yourself. Ultimately, finding God on her own, choosing to quit her job, and Khakis choosing to stop letting his parents decide things for him are what make everyone happy in the end. The relationship angle is just to keep the plot moving. Overall, it's not a waste of time to mingle with "Christian Mingle," but we wouldn't mingle again.
Quote: "We are running out of men. Our husbands are running out of men."
Spoon Rating: 5
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