Future Cops [1993]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

This movie, "Future Cops," is often described as the Hong Kong "Street Fighter." Honestly though, this movie actually somehow has less to do with the video game than the more well known, western "Street Fighter" movie that came out a year later. This movie has more in common with "The Terminator" or heck, "The Three Stooges." It's basically "Terminator" if you added in tons of gags and slapstick. There's so much nonsense in this movie, we lost track of the actual plot for a while because it mostly follows this random awkward kid trying to live his horrible life until the plot picks up again in the last half hour. The craziness is pretty funny though.

In the year 2043, there is a war going on between the evil General and his minions (the future rascals, as described by the subtitles) and the three future cops who are trying to do good. The General has been arrested and the rascals plan is to go back in time to 1993 when the judge who would grow up to pass judgment on the General was a kid who they could brainwash. The cops learn this and after a very silly fight where they call out their fight moves beforehand, the movie then turns to the life of some random kid in 1993 who is not the judge. He is picked on in class, he fails everything, and he's somehow a 28 year old still in high school. He lives with his heart-breaker sister and neurotic mom who is driven crazy when her boyfriend speaks to her in English (clear "A Fish Called Wanda" reference). The future cops show up and promise to improve his life if he helps them find the judge. One acts as the kid's bodyguard, fighting off bullies and giving him athletic abilities, one becomes a teacher at the school and has the popular girl fall for him, and the third falls for the kid's sister and charms her by using his future magic to put them inside "Super Mario Bros." Random stuff happens for a while until the rascals show up and then the General himself. Everyone finds out that, unsurprisingly, the kid is the judge, and the future cops turn everyone into "Street Fighter" character knockoffs so they can have a final battle. Justice wins.

In addition to the slapstick, the version we watched had some pretty terrible subtitles which really added to the comedy of the experience. This movie is worth a watch once but not a second time.

Quote: "I want shitting now!"

Spoon Rating: 5

Adam's Grandma's Review: "It was good."