Star War The Third Gathers: Backstroke Of The West [2005]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

There were two things on the night's agenda. First up was a pre-movie called "Change" staring Kenpo Grand Master Larry Tatum wandering around and trying to get change so he can get a Coke from a machine. Everyone is weirdly ornery about this simple request until he meets a woman who is initially terrified of him and threatens him with her karate skills but then offers $0.95 on the dollar which he gratefully accepts. Then she has her keys stolen so he beats up the thieves for her. He drops the punchline ("I know a little karate too" followed by the sounds of heavenly angels in awe) and then finally enjoys the refreshing taste of Coca-Cola. It is a very strange ad. I think.

The main event was the movie "Star War The Third Gathers: Backstroke Of The West," a version of "Star Wars III: Revenge Of The Sith" with awkward English subtitles translated from Chinese. On YouTube someone has done God's work by actually, quite impressively, dubbing the whole movie with these subtitles and it is a delight. Of course, if you've seen "Revenge Of The Sith" you are already familiar with the tragic story of how Allah Gold turned away from the hopeless situations by following the black influence of Speaker D but it is still worth another go if you really want to feel the emotion; especially at the final scene when Allah Gold tragically shouts out, "Do not want!" sparking internet memes that have lasted years and years longer than most memes. George Lucas should be very proud.

Spoon Ratings: 5 for "Change." 8 for "Star War."