In a world were everyone who does a sport must only go to practice in a crop top, we meet our star-crossed lovers, popular cheerleader Tammy and slightly awkward and curiously unpopular football player Michael. Nothing could destroy this union born in a John Melloncamp song about the American dream except for maybe Tammy's super abusive biker "boyfriend" (I put that in quotes because I assume she tried/tries to break up with him but, well, abusive). All hope is shattered when what was supposed to be a night of teen sex turned into Michael getting attacked by the "boyfriend" and ending up in intensive care. He is proclaimed dead by a mad scientist and his assistant who have a particular use for his brain: to put it inside an automoton dinosaur they made, thereby Jurassic Park-ing stuff up and showing the potential for bodies that never die. No, the science is not in any way plausible even for a silly movie. So what does Michael do in his new body? Get revenge on the biker guy and his friends, trying to reveal his true identity to Tammy's GBF before hunting down Tammy herself to reveal what happened to him. The next twenty minutes are mostly Tammy and her GBF trying to find a human body for Michael and it's very Weekend at Bernie's. I'm sure you already guessed that Michael ends up killing the scientist but honestly, nothing will prepare you for how the "where do we put Michael's brain" problem is solved. If you don't want to bother watching the whole thing, consult the lovely Wikipedia plot summary. It is . . . shocking.
Quotes:
[Our new favorite thing to shout at each other] "I don't want to see you for the rest of my life EVER!"
[A cop on two witnesses of the dinosaur attack] "They're in shock. You're gonna hafta slap it out of 'em."
"Dead is as old as you're gonna get."
Adam's Grandma's Review: [long pause] "I don't know what to think of it . . . poor Michael."
No comments:
Post a Comment