Saturday's Warrior [1989]

This choice came about from my current semi-fixation on Mormon culture and the knowledge that this musical is a formative piece of media for Mormon millennials and probably a bit older. The title I still can't explain, it's probably something a nevermo like me isn't meant to know, but it still has a lot of Mormon content followable for heathens like us.

The film starts in the preexistence, a concept that Adam, the philosopher and religion minor, needs to know more about. A couple in the preexistence talk about how they are going to be in love on earth and promise to find each other. We also get two future missionaries destined to be companions who Sarah and I swear were the basis for Elder Price and Elder Cunningham from Book of Mormon, and a family of eight who are all yet to be born. The eldest are two twins who decided grabbing each other's thighs in a good signal and the boy twin will become are primary main character. The youngest of the family, a girl, begs the oldest brother to not forget her existence. This will be important later.

Generally the film has two or three intersecting plots. Jimmy, the eldest boy is having a crisis of faith because all his cool bad kid friends think that having a bunch of children is irresponsible and that abortion and safe sex are good. The leader of the bad kids looks like a young Rob McElheney and makes the hammiest faces and sings too quietly. Jimmy's younger sister, the girl from the couple in the beginning, says goodbye to her missionary boyfriend, discount Elder Price aka Wally, and then over the two years he's on his mission decides that maybe she doesn't want to marry him actually. Jimmy gets mad at his parents for deciding to have another kid (literally the mom says she needs to in order to film a void, which like, girl go to therapy) and during his birthday his mom has a miscarriage and Jimmy runs off to the beach with the bad kids. He ends up chatting on a bench with an artist, the guy from the couple in the beginning so his sister's future husband, and decides to return home after his twin sister has died. Artist guy ends up getting converted to Mormonism on that same bench by the Elders and they bring him back to Idaho with them. Younger sister sees Artist in the airport and they remember each other from preexistence and Elder Price is done for. He and his mission buddy decide to be roommates at BYU. 

This movie has a couple laughs for sure, but it's mostly just a not great musical. I didn't mention the songs because they are generally really unmemorable. It's filmed on a sound stage, but I'm not going to knock it for that (although should the church have more money to throw in here). The plot is insane mainly for the whole discussion about having kids. That really feels like the main thesis here. Also while the immediate conversion just feels like typical religious movie fantasy, the preexistence couple is an absolutely wild take on the romance genre that's somehow even more damaging than most films. Like you will never be truly happy until you meet the person you were predestined to be with. Yikes. I'm sure that lead to a lot of 20-year-olds getting married.

Spoon Rating: 4

Project Grizzly [1996]

Sarah brought us this delightful film, the rare bad documentary. The premise itself really sells the film: a man obsessed with bears is trying to make a bear proof suit. It looks like something from a 1950s horror movie on a shoestring budget and the beginning of the film is mostly testing its durability in increasingly silly ways. The man himself, Troy Hubertise, is obviously unhinged and will often go on long rants about who knows what. He calls the bear he originally encountered Old Man and talks a lot about how bears are just like people, you know, with claws. 

The direction of the film is also pretty great in its over-the-top coolness. You kind of wonder if the director actually thinks he's making Troy look good or if he's just doing what Troy would find cool and the effect is almost sarcastic.

The first downside of the film however is the run time, which is only an hour and 15 minutes, but feels longer. How long can you really talk about a bear suit? How long can you endure this man's fantastical rants that are a bit too incoherent to be fun? The other, larger disadvantage is that he is never actually attacked by a bear while in the suit. It feels like false advertising.

 Overall, it's pretty worth it, especially the first 20 minutes or so.

Spoon Rating: 5