The Langoliers [1995]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

When someone decides to adapt a Stephen King novel into a movie there are two methods that one can chose to take. The first method is when the director and/or writer decide on an artistic vision for the movie that manages to capture the spirit of the book while maintaining conciseness and style. Probably the most famous examples of this include Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" and Scott Hick's 'Hearts In Atlantis". Then there's the other method: to cram absolutely everything from the book into the movie no matter how long and meandering it becomes. This is an example of the latter.

The story follows a group of people on a plane from LA to Boston who wake up to find that most of their follow passengers have disappeared and they must then figure out what's going on. Among them are a former pilot, a school teacher, a British hitman, a blind girl, and a very angry business man who calms himself down by tearing up pieces of paper in near orgasmic bliss. They discuss conspiracy theories for an hour while deciding to land in Bangor, Maine, which is supposedly closer than Boston, but when they get out there's no man or beast around and the world suddenly lacks flavor, smell, sound, etc. Angry business man gets crazier and crazier and starts shouting in fear about the langoliers because he read ahead in the script. Then he tries to kill people. Then langoliers, who look like Pacman with sharp teeth, try to kill people. Why is all this happening you ask? The plane apparently went through a vortex and, because these particular passengers were sleeping, they got transported back in time to a, I guess, deserted world because everything else has moved forward and the langoliers are creatures that destroy the past by eating it. In summary, Stephen King doesn't seem to get time travel and has never seen an episode of "Doctor Who." Come for the three hour long nonsense plot, stay for the obvious dialogue, bad mid-90s CGI, King cliches, and Bronson Pinchot's hammy acting.

Quotes: "I'm blind and I can't see her."

Adam's Grandma's Review: "I liked it."

We had langolier for dinner (also known as meatloaf and Wheat Thins).

Although we did not win Stephen King bingo (Kingo, if you will), we did get a lot of spaces.