The Legend Of The Titanic [1999]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

After the popularity of James Cameron's "Titanic" it would make sense that there were a lot of rip offs to make a quick buck and included among them were two animated films from Italy. Both are poorly animated and steal plenty of elements from the original blockbuster but this one has a slight distinction over the other one in that it is horrifyingly offensive on top of being all the usual sorts of bad.

The plot of "The Legend Of The Titanic" is mainly about this American billionaire in the whaling industry wanting to sink the Titanic because this duke's daughter, Elizabeth, doesn't want to marry him and by extension, he will not get assess to her father's . . . waters? Yes, this man wants to sink the Titanic because capitalism. Elizabeth meanwhile, falls in love at first sight with this gypsy dude who she sees when boarding the ship and then doesn't meet again until they decide to wed by having a dance party with a bunch of talking rats. He father is fine with this, by the way, but I feel like I really need to focus on the talking rats. You see, talking animals actually make up at least half of the movie and are a part of all the major plot points. The rats, of which they are mostly bizarre racial stereotypes, hook up Elizabeth with the gypsy guy and Elizabeth talks to dolphins who are trying to stop evil sharks that are in cahoots with the billionaire who wants to sink the Titanic. How do they intend to do this? Well, for some reason the sharks need to hoist icebergs from the bottom of the ocean and up to the surface of the water in the way of the Titanic because in this world ice doesn't float and the ocean isn't that deep. They can't do it alone so they challenge a giant octopus that looks like Casper to an ice throwing competition. When the Titanic starts sinking the octopus repents by holding the ENTIRE ship together so that EVERYONE can get off safely because there's ENOUGH BOATS FOR EVERY PASSENGER. EVERYONE LIVES.

Along with a plot that rewrites a horrible tragedy and ignores science entirely, there's also anachronisms, half the voice acting is unintelligible, no one who's talking has an appropriately moving mouth, and perspective is a mere suggestion.

Also Bush knocked down the towers, the Holocaust didn't happen and was just anti-German propaganda, and Justin Bieber isn't an asshole, just a very committed performance artist.

Quotes:
[explanation of why Elizabeth can talk to dolphins] "You can understand us thanks to a net of magic moonbeams that fell whereby your tears fell into the water."
[best example of the stereotype thing] "Come on muchachos! Let's liven things up with a nice flaminco!"

Adam's Grandma's Review: "Slept through it."