Saturday, September 10, 2016

High School Musical [2006]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

I'm sure there are many who would immediately object to the idea that "High School Musical" was watched at Bad Movie Night but it is also clear that there are a lot of people who see this movie through such strong nostalgia goggles that they somehow missed that it's awful. Disney Channel Original movies have never been the pinnacle of quality (except "Brink"; do not diss "Brink" around us) but there's something especially terrible about this movie. From the loose "Romeo & Juliet" premise, to the cheesy, generic pop songs, to the conflicts that go nowhere, this movie was made in a factory and it was only by a bizarre wave of popularity that it spawned two sequels, which we will also be watching.

The plot revolves around Troy and Gabriella, two teens who meet at a ski resort over Christmas break and are forced into singing karaoke only to find that they both like singing and each other. When break ends, it turns out that Gabriella has moved to Troy's school by random chance but they can't be friends because they live in a dystopia teen novel where everyone can only have one interest but drugs, sex, and violence do not exist. In spite of Troy loving basketball and Gabriella loving science, they end up lowkey trying out for the school musical (with a song so bland we had to pause the movie to make sure it wasn't the song from the karaoke scene) and get listed among the callbacks, causing the school to go into turmoil. Sharpey and Ryan, twins who stars in all the school's productions, are out to destroy them . . . somehow, and the other students all start confessing that they (*gasp*) like more than one thing. A really strange dance and song situation occurs where they sing about "sticking to the status quo" because I guess the school's secret police will arrest them otherwise for unspecified crimes against The Institutation. Competing for the antagonist roles are Troy and Gabriella's best friends who at exactly two-thirds of the way through this exactly one hour and thirty minute movie, try to tear them apart. Things are resolved quickly after Gabriella sings this movie's "Hopelessly Devoted to You." But, oh no, the twins get the basketball championship, scholastic decatholan, and musical auditions moved to the same day to try to sabotage Troy and Gabriella! It doesn't work. They sing and everyone loves them and then the twins have a complete 180 and support them. They all change into school colors and do a silly dance number about how "they're all in this together." I suffer.

Next week will be "High School Musical 2" where I have a feeling they will no longer all be in this together for the sake of contrived conflict (and because they didn't realize there was going to be a sequel when they made the first one).

Spoon Rating: 5

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