Tuesday, August 30, 2016

The Skateboard Kid [1993]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

It has been mentioned before that the majority of the Bad Movie Night crew consists of millenials: born in the late 80s, once 90s kids, and now sad 20-somethings. As such, we are amused by anything that is a movie time capsule of the 90s; anything that was completely topical when it was made but is now a hilarious product of its time. Enter "The Skateboard Kid," a movie whose title alone places it right where we were expecting. I took so many notes on this movie that I decided to just make some of them into a 90s Bingo game rather than comment on every little silly 90s thing that happens in the film. 

The plot of "Skateboard Kid" is exactly what you want from a 90s movie. A kid who likes to skateboard moves to a new town with his dad because his dad got a job running a really crappy television station. Skateboard Kid doesn't get along with the other skateboarders in town, particularly Eddie Vedder Wannabe Ponytail Guy who is the son of a crooked used car salesman. Ponytail breaks Skateboard Kid's skateboard and he ends up getting another one for free from a nice lady who runs a pawn shop who he helped fudge some bills for (and whose bill collector he made eat a goldfish; this doesn't make more sense in context). This skateboard belonged to a magican in the 70s and after he pimps it out with a motor and lights, lightning strikes and the board comes to life. Pawn Shop lady and her daughter come over for dinner and there is a clear love triangle between SK's dad, Pawn Shop lady, and crooked salesman who blackmail Pawn Shop lady into marrying him because she has a treasure map or something and she needs money to pay for her house and her daughter's heart surgery. Meanwhile Skateboard Kid is . . . trying to help by flying around on the skateboard and ripping off the silhouette on the moon scene from "ET." At one point the skateboard breaks so Skateboard Kid makes a sail out of his flannel shirt and rides his only friend's corpse to stop the wedding. Pawn Shop lady delivers a solid not joke ("I do . . . NOT!") and the treasure is found. Presumably SK's dad and Pawn Shop lady get married and everyone lives happily ever after but the last few minutes of our copy of the movie cut off so we can't be sure.

I can't for the life of me figure out who this movie is supposed to be for. The skateboarding seems like it should appeal to teens but the movie is completely for young kids. It's low budget, the acting is often bizarre, the special effects on the skateboard are nightmare-ish, and the plot is just so conventional and dry that we were really thankful for all the other things that kept us laughing. It wasn't very radical, tubular, or x-treme, but it was a better use of our time than a lot of the films we have seen lately.

Play some 90s Bingo!
"If that kid gets anywhere near Maggie Mills, you're an organ donor!"

Spoon Rating: 6

Grandma's Review: "It was good."

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