Sometimes we simply fear that which we do not understand. This is both a theme of this movie and our collective attitude in relation to this movie. This one seems to be a classic of bad movies, one that appears on every list and seems pretty universally disliked. No one talks about "Garbage Pail Kids" like they talk about "The Room" or "Birdemic." This one is supposed to be bad-bad and we have been fittingly dreading it. However, on watching it, most of us actually thought it was more silly and amusingly bad than painful bad with the notable exception of Sarah who vehemently hated it, dropped a lot of F-bombs at Adam while blaming him for inflicting it on her, and tried actively to fall asleep many times. We are a crew divided.
A kid who looks about 13 but regularly gets beaten up by 20-something year old bikers works in an antique shop that seems to be run by a time travelling wizard (this is only a theory divised by Kay and Sarah because he never actually defines himself). For whatever reason, this man has a garbage pail full of ugly, gross large-headed children that, though magically sealed, can apparently be easily opened. Kid knocks over pail. GPKs enter the world and mainly just do low level mischief like going into places like "The Toughest Bar In The World" while looking for others like them. In truth the GPKs, while obviously the most bonkers part of the movie, are mostly the B-plot. In the A-Plot, Kid is trying to impress this girl named Tangerine who designs really horrifying 80s clothes that she mostly sells to strippers out of her car. The GPKs help out by making him an outfit so shiny that she is blinded into believing she could profit from this and he promises to make her more clothes using the GPKs as willing slave labor. They steal from the "Non-Union Sweat Shop", make a bunch of stuff for her in spite of the fact that she's a jerk to them, and she pretends they're her designs while the GPKs are carted off to the "State Home For The Ugly." The Kid and the Wizard free everyone in the Ugly Home and then the GPK crash Tangerine's fashion show by vomiting, farting, and peeing all over everyone and everything there. This is high class content.
There's a lot to enjoy in this movie in terms of ridiculousness if you have a soul as dead as ours (expecting Sarah). The GPKs are just awfully made with mouths that don't move correctly and voices that are like death rattles. There's one that looks like a baby in a straight jacket that creepily says, "mama" at everything who will haunt your nightmares. There's one with zits who sounds like he's constantly mid-yawn. They sing a fantastically terrible song called "We Can Do Anything By Working With Each Other" that we will be singing for eternity. There's rampant product placement when the movie is already just capitalizing on the fad of Garbage Pail Kid cards. And, of course, revolves around about clothing from the 80s, the worst decade of clothing in history. The whole movie is one big eyesore that you can't look away from because you want to understand why.
Listen and join the cult:
Quote: "My kinda guys . . . psychos!"
Spoon Rating: 5
Adam's Grandma's Review: *a dismissive hand gesture*