Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Neighbors: Episode Six [2015]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

In the most recent, and what we can only pray will be the last, episode of "The Neighbors" we were introduced to the idea of "triple vanilla sex." The phrase came up multiple times and even seemed to be the title of the episode and yet, it appears to be a nebulous concept that may even fluctuate in meaning. Troy, the stoner, claims ownership of the idea and yet he defines it two different ways during the episode and neither way involves the idea of "triple." First he says that it's just a large tube of vanilla ice cream with a lot of weed in it which I guess for some could be the equivalent of good sex. Then he says it means eating vanilla ice cream off of one another during sex. These things are fundamentally different but equally poorly named. Why is "triple vanilla sex" not eating vanilla wafers topped with vanilla ice cream while having vanilla sex (i.e. conventional sex)? Why does Tommy Wiseau think this is amusing? Why have I devoted an entire paragraph to this?

Well, the rest of the episode was really boring. The Asian dude from the first episode rents a penis pump from Ed, the handyman, and discusses the terms of boning Mariana who never appears. Monica is still pregnant and her boybandhusfriend is still torn between her and Patrick but now makes a clunking noise when he talks for some reason. Cici and Princess Penelope yell at each other in some kind of propriety vs. 'Murrica battle ('Murrica wins, I guess). Ricky Rick is still the worst. And in what may be the most realistic plot twist so far, Lula, the witch, wants to become a pimp to the girls who live in the apartment thereby finally turning this practically-a-brothel into a bona fide brothel. I say, Good luck, Lula, and thank you for bringing this apartment complex to its only logical conclusion.

[repeated line]
"My head is not on!"

"Excuse me?"
"Excuse yourself."

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