Bats: Human Harvest [2007]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Yesterday we again dipped into the wondrous renewable resource of bad movies known as the Sci-Fi channel. For the reference we didn't actually know that this was such a movie at the time; Sarah just picked it up at the Book Barn for a buck or two because the title was irresistible. However, there were plenty of tell-tale Sci-Fi channel signs: the shoddy CGI, the overly earnest acting, and the plot that managed to be summed up on Wikipedia with two short paragraphs. I could write a longer post on the movie right here.

In spite of the glorious title that evokes fond memories of "Birdemic: Shock And Terror", 90% of the movie seems to be shots of people in military garb running through the same patch of woods and occasionally shooting at other people with fake Russian accents. The meager plot is about an American army team and Russian CIA agent going into Chechnya to find a missing scientist. For no reason any of us can remember, this scientist went a little cuckoo and biologically engineered bats that are larger than regular bats (but not huge or anything), have camouflaging capabilities, and thirst for blood. Russians and Americans shoot each other for no reason and occasionally get picked up by a swarm of bats or have their hand ripped off by them (best scene in the movie). In the end, the loose cannon leader who doesn't play by the rules blows up the evil scientist, getting the scientist's bat resistant blood all over him and he saves the two remaining team members.

Unfortunately, the movie lacked harvesting of any kind and at a mere 87 minutes this movie should have gone by much quicker than it did but it was so boring most of the time that it felt like four hours. We even took an intermission to eat a variety of bat-shaped snacks.

Little Debbie's bat brownies, bats & bones candy from Barnes & Noble, and locally made chocolate-covered oreos and nonpareils. Also bat necklaces.

Cute spooky treats.

Waiting for the harvest, appropriately adorned

Quotes: "So many stories and they all have the same ending."

"You think I'll leave here without poppin' the doctor?"

Adam's Grandma's Review: "I liked it. It was long but it was good."