Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Still Flowin: The Movie [2014]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Sound is important to a film. I can't really stress this point too strongly as this week's movie, "Still Flowin': The Movie," is basically the worst disaster we have ever seen in terms of sound. Worse than "Guru, The Mad Monk," which was I film I found virtually impossible to understand. Worse than every other low budget film we've seen. It wasn't just that the dialogue was hard to hear either. There was frequently non-diegetic music that would overwhelm the dialogue and the room of the audience with pulsating beats that are sure to induce a headache. And it's worth noting that there is a lot being done with the sound of this movie. The movie was written, directed, produced by, and starred an Australian rapper named Raed Melki who talks on his website about how he has studied sound design and directing. Neither of these things is clear from the movie although I do believe both that he made it himself and that he is his own music producer.

The plot is pretty incomprehensible so we checked IMDb. It turns out the plot is about a rapper from Melbourne who has pissed off a record company so much by badgering them with demos that they hire a hitman (who we named Boozy Burger) to kill him. Meanwhile, there is another record company who is absolutely floored by his talent and is trying to find him. There are subplots that involve a group of guys who like to curse him out when they see him (it goes nowhere), his friend who wants to be an interior decorator somewhere like America or Turkey (it goes nowhere), a party with drugs (some people get high and anti-Semitic and anti-Muslim comments are traded for some reason), his girlfriend (we couldn't even understand their conversations), visiting some kangaroos (we got bored and watched that YouTube video of a guy punching a kangaroo), visiting a church (conversation was clearly had but we kept mishearing things), and some kind of set-up with one of the record guys who wanted him dead. This is the most I can tell you for sure. Also, he's not a good rapper. And this may be based on a true story.

Instead of watching this film, you could get part of the experience by checking out Raed Melki's production company's website. Here's a link to information about casting for the sequel. It's a ride.

Also, check out this weird collection of sentences at the end of the film. Both the beginning and end of the film featured Raed Melki's bank information so you could wire money to him.:
Pretty sure that's not how copyrights work but okay, Raed. What do I know anyway? I'm just a critic.

Quotes:
"I'm not sure that Jesus is full of doughnuts." [Note: This was likely misheard.]

Spoon Rating: 2

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