The Adventures Of Sharkboy And Lavagirl In 3-D [2005]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Theoretically, making a decent kid's movie shouldn't be too complicated. Invent some fully developed and funky characters a kid can relate to or look up to and a primary lesson that you want the kids to learn and build a compelling story around that. Maybe, if you have some skill, throw in some subtle winks to the parents in the audience and make the theme universal for all age groups. There's a formula, although as we have often seen, it's apparently not as easy to follow as one might think. And on a last note: don't let your kids come up with the premise if it makes no sense, Robert Rodriguez. 

The plot involves a kid named Max who sees visions, but not really because they're real I guess, of two superkids named Sharkboy and Lavagirl and, reasonably, no one believes him so he gets made fun of. Eventually all his classmates are proven wrong when Sharkboy and Lavagirl burst into the classroom and take him to Planet Drool, a manifestation of his dreams, because they need to save the planet from the bad guy who is also the class bully and his sidekick who is also the teacher. The rest of the movie follows a video game structure with tasks Max must perform to go onto the next task all in gloriously cheap CGI. Ultimately, he's trying to reconcile dreams with reality or something while working through the issues he has with the people in his life. Sharkboy and Lavagirl seem to have their own problems too that are never fully explored. Lavagirl literally has amnesia and Sharkboy has a superiority complex and is played by Taylor Lautner who is quickly becoming a Bad Movie Hall-of-Famer. Throw in a hasty resolution, things being waved in front of the camera (because the original was in 3-D, don't you know), and a pretty obvious "Be Our Guest" ripoff where Lautner sings about dreaming and does gymnastics and you've basically got the whole movie.

Here are some GIFs of the aforementioned song:

And some weird stills:

 I relate.

Kill it with fire.

Casual.

o god stop smiling i feel so unclean

Her response to Sharkboy's dance routine.

I have seen hell.

Quotes:
"The ground is thumping too much."
"My highly trained ears can hear it too."