If you think Sam Jackson's portrayal of Nick Fury in the Marvel movies is too restrained and subtle, have I got a movie for you. Hilariously, even though Hasselhoff is the lead and he isn't known for chill, they definitely tried to balance out the cast with a bunch of scenery-munchers that are here for a good time, if not a long time. This film was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a television that never got off the ground, but at least we'll always have this.
The plot is a pretty standard good versus evil situation, specifically SHIELD versus Hydra. On the SHIELD side we have The Hoff, a woman with the most 90s makeup you could imagine and is also his love interest, a British man who speaks mostly in stereotypical slang, and another woman who can read minds but like, not well. On the Hydra side we have a psychotic blonde lady with an extensive wardrobe budget so she can dress like the villain she is, her brother she's a smidge too close to, and the frozen corpse of her dad. Hydra wants to unite the terrorists (I'm sure there will be no ideological issues here) and release a dangerous toxin on all of New York City. SHIELD gotta stop it. They do.
While the plot is thin, the acting is aces. It's no surprise why this didn't make for a compelling potential show, but it'll make for a fun evening.
Spoon Rating: 5
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