Surviving Edged Weapons [1988]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

Admittedly, from the title a few of us were skeptical about the quality of this bad movie. The last time we watched informational films we got a mix in quality from a mostly boring Y2K scare video to a genuinely funny video about the threat of Satanic cults. "Surviving Edged Weapons" definitely falls on the Satanic cult side. 

Peppered with only moments of seriousness, usually in the form of interviews with people who may or may not be actual cops (some were in uniform but none of them had titles), the film is heavily based around scenarios in which cops try to execute proper procedure regarding edged weapons. For the first half of the movie they mostly fail, at one point with a cleaver to the head, but then they start to learn the acronyms and their methods improve. One of the acronyms for surviving edged weapons is GUN, by the way, which is even better when they prove that a cop would actually have to be really far away in order to have time to shoot someone with a weapons before being attacked. Since there isn't a plot, it's not super easy to explain without going through each scenario. Just imagine a lot of bad 80s hair, big sweatpants, and upper Midwest accents. It's a masterpiece. Did it save any police officers from death by edged weapons? Who knows? But it makes for a fun night.

Quotes:
*the camera freezes on a barking dog's open mouth*
"How many edged weapons do you see now?"

Spoon Rating: 6