Wednesday, August 10, 2016

China O'Brien [1990]

[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]

We have been itching to watch another Cynthia Rothrock movie since the real glorious mess that was "Undefeatable." It only made sense that we would turn to one of the most famous of Rothrock's films and one of the earlier ones: "China O'Brien." While this movie wasn't quite the masterpiece that "Undefeatable" was, it was decent enough for us to consider watching "China O'Brien II" in the future so that's saying something. The most amazing thing about it was the abysmal sound effects. Aside from the fact that the sound effects were never synced properly, a lot of them were just wrong. Punches don't sound like punches. Kicks don't sound like kicks. And dropping a weight on the ground usually doesn't sound like a delicate plop but that didn't stop us from watching those wonderful two seconds over and over.

The plot of China O'Brien is pretty standard martial arts movie fare. China is a cop who also runs a martial arts studio and is then challenged to a fight one day by some gang members. In spite of her claims of a strict "no street fighting" policy, she immediately gives in and fights them anyway and accidentally kills a kid. Guilt-ridden, she quits her job and moves to her hometown which is not unlike the town in "Road House." Some gang runs the town and her dad, the sheriff, can't do anything. Regardless of his ultimate powerlessness in the face of the gang, they blow him up with a car bomb for good measure. Then they blow up another cop with a car bomb. Somehow, this doesn't put China entirely off cars but does encourage her to run for sheriff. In spite of the gangs trying not to make it happen (by stealing the ballot box from some high school students and killing O'Brien's housekeeper) she wins the election. She decides to fix things in the last twenty minutes of the film with her strangely accented (Australian but trying not to be?) ex-boyfriend and a Native American biker guy. They lock up the bad guys. Freeze frame. Sequel: coming soon.

Spoon Rating: 5

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