[Cross-posted on the Bad Movie Night Facebook page.]
Two Mondays ago we didn't have a movie night but the Friday before that we watched a movie that was certainly bad enough to qualify. Because Adam and Kay watched "Rapid Fire" the previous Friday upon realizing that Kay had only seen two out of the four Brandon Lee movies that exist (those two being "The Crow" and her favorite 90s action movie "Showdown In Little Tokyo"), we decided to complete the list and watch Brandon Lee's very first movie that neither of them had seen: "Laser Mission."
This movie is just incompetent. The plot was completely impossible to discern even by Sarah who had joined in the viewing. Brandon Lee plays some sort of secret agent for America who is trying to steal a laser or prevent one from being made or something. He teams up with a love interest who is also trained to fight or related to someone important and they have a fade-to-black love. There's plenty of dumb humor and completely unrealistic gun fire and I don't actually remember seeing any lasers in the movie at all but I think we all started trying to fall asleep about halfway through. Thirty minutes in Kay and Sarah insisted that we should turn it off and save it for a Monday but Adam insisted that we finish it at that moment. Action happens. The end. Brandon Lee didn't even take his shirt off or do any elaborate fight choreography so no one's movie going needs were met.
The absolute weirdest thing about this movie was that it was impossible to tell where it took place. In the beginning it seemed like it was in Cuba and all the characters seemed to have generic Hispanic accents. Then suddenly a ton of Russians appear. Then we seemed to be in the desert where there were a ton of different accents. Then they said something about Zambia, implying they were in Africa (which the movie cover seems to support). We still don't know for sure.
On the Indeterminate location:
Kay: "This is just like Star Wars."
Adam: "Or Mad Max."
Kay: "Or the beginning of Lawrence of Arabia."
Adam: "Or the middle of Lawrence of Arabia."